memory lane

I´ve learned to walk around inside my own  head 

I learned to feed off my words

I regurgitate the vomit of me 

I slip my fingers down my throat over the toilet bowl of life 

and flush down the remnants of last night dinner of dining of self-hate 

I study the floor and scrape up the mess I made 

unwanted chunks of the feelings 

I wallow down in the shallows 

the tiny little ripples of tears 

that 

hit the floor 

teeter-tottering 

losing balance 

center gravity 

stuck in the levity 

of my drunken state 

hungover 

from 

the 

late nights

indulgence 

in

insecure thoughts 

wobbling 

into 

the 

vanity 

of 

insanity 

teething on my skin

gnawing 

at 

perfection 

skinning 

the 

rib

meat 

daunting 

images 

dangling 

threats 

throwing 

images 

of 

fear 

running 

in circles 

chasing 

after 

white 

shadows 

trying 

to

merge 

into 

the 

ghost 

of 

the 

past 

traveling 

down 

the 

same 

road 

gruesome 

cuts 

slit 

from 

the 

wrist 

down 

pressed 

my 

soul 

into 

the cookie 

cutter 

and 

hacked 

away 

at 

last 

 bit 

of 

me 

slimmed 

down 

and 

adjusted 

my 

body 

to 

fit 

in 

the 

corsage 

of 

perfection