another poem about heartbreak
remove the batteries from the clock
pluck off the hands, as if they were rose petals
drain the sand, bring it back to shore where it belongs
your time is up, our time is up,
it’s over, lover.
i’ve flipped the coin my number of tears too many times for you
heads for forgive, tails for forget
but whichever one it lands on, i don’t fret
i always choose to return to your arms
arms that have held others
arms with love potions flowing in its veins
arms that have held others while pretending to have only held me
i could’ve known better
i should’ve known better
i thought you were the morning,
the dawn of a new story, lighting up my eyes
dry the glistening rain on the pavement,
a vibrant yellow against the gray;
you were not just a saturday in a week feeling like all were mondays;
you, you, you.
but you were the night,
and i was a flower needing the sunlight
--skin needing heat--
but anything to be with you
until i didn’t even care that i was wilting;
i could not bloom
i could not wake up.
you were the night
and i cried to you
mildew tears staining rose-kissed cheeks
but you can’t spell tears without ears
and you never listened to my cry
you turned them into hurricanes
flooding me, drowning me
forcing beautiful things down the drain
and i could do nothing but go with the currents.
i was too much for you too handle
too this, too that
you told me that i loved you too much
you told me that this felt like a mistake
how could this be a mistake
when everything i had, i’ve put on stake
for your sake, for our sake
but all you said was you needed a break.
i am still hurting
barely a whisper of a petal left of me
stems broken down, nothing is holding me
but i promise you,
i will grow from this.
i deserve the sun.
i do not regret you
i cannot regret you
because at one point
you were exactly what i wanted.
but i regret not realising much earlier
i was giving the love
that i deserved.