Excerpt from The Story Story

“Aren’t we supposed to wait an hour after eating before we get in the water?” asked Kaitlin.

“Ah … and here we see the dark side of stories,” replied Strider. “Long ago some pseudointellectual housewife mommy reasoned that if little Johnny was full of Oscar-Meyer wieners and Fritos and chocolate cupcakes, his body must be diverting its resources to converting all that food into energy and poop—and therefore he’d have less resources to devote to the muscles in his arms and legs—the muscles he’d need for swimming. This theory sounded plausible and oh so deliciously erudite so she shared it with the girls in her mahjongg group and they agreed it made perfect sense. The next thing you know, they were all sharing this nonsense under the curlers and hair dryers at the salon, and while they waited on their nail polish to harden, and in the checkout line at the Safeway—the end-result being that millions of children who were amped up on sugary foods that were far more damaging than a dunk in the pool on a full stomach had to writhe and whine and convulse and bitch and cry while their mommies forced them to wait out their sugar blasts on terra firma.

“A plausible story—or even worse, an implausible story—can spread like measles if enough people are willing to believe it without question—and this is where evils like wars and racism and the notion that you actually get better deals on Black Friday come from.

The happiness delegates responded with a round of hearty applause.

Strider bowed. “I went off on a rant, didn’t I?”

Kaitlin giggled. “I guess I’ll go put my swimsuit on.”