Daze

1.

This is the regret that tastes

Like sunsets in cities too far from home,

That aches like not being where you should

And like loving who you shouldn’t.

This is the longing in your lungs

When you breathe in the wind of the ocean,

The burning in your throat

When the shower stings like rain.

This is the blue-sky-with-pink-clouds regret

That gives you nostalgia for what never was,

The bitter but beautiful regret

That smells like vanilla but tastes like it too.

It is the way love makes you smile,

And the way life makes you stop.

It is the regret of memories ended

And of memories never made.

2.

This is the regret that stings

Like oceans on your cheeks,

That burns like salt on cut hands

And tastes like blood on scraped lips.

This is the heaviness in your chest

When that old song comes on,

The hollowness in your heart

When you drink to not think about drinking.

This is the red-eyed-in-the-snow regret

When you see your parents in the mirror,

The cold but melting regret

Of wilted roses that still need water.

It is the way your sister runs

And the way your brother doesn’t.

It is the regret of too much trusting,

The regret of dreaming and of almost loving.

3.

This is the regret that feels like nothing,

Like white walls and static noise,

That hurts like numb legs dancing

And spins like dizzy moons, lost in space.

This is the lukewarm water from the sink

That you swallow without tasting,

The ringing in your ears

And the lawn mower outside your window.

This is the that’s it regret

That has no ending or moving on,

The paralyzing regret

Of a slip of fate that can never be undone.

It is the crushing weight of silence

And the weakness of your shoulders.

It is the regret of suns rising,

Of stars shining and of people dying.