The hardest decision I’ve ever made. @chainedinshadow

The hardest decision I've ever had to make is the decision I make every day. Whether I should or should not get out of bed in the morning. Sometimes when I decide I shouldn't, I spend the day hiding from my responsibilities. Tangled up in my white cotton sheets, expecting all of my troubles to go away if maybe I ignore them for long. Others, when I decide I am well enough to face the world, i remain as positive as I can considering the judgmental surroundings I live in. I hush, i keep quiet and I listen. I listen to every thought every person around me has. I listen to what their eyes say even when they don't say a word. I talk and when I talk I try to say as little as possible but saying as much as I can. I can't help to be way too open to the world.

It's better when I decide to stay at home, because I don't say anything, I hush and I talk whenever I want to.

I say what I need to say without worrying if I have opened a door for people to judge and judge and judge.

So sometimes I stay in bed and I do not cry. Because I don't say the wrong thing or act the wrong way, and even if I do, no one can hear or see a thing.

Things are easier when you do not have people waiting for you to screw up so that have something new to talk about that week.