Self-Hate

the voices in my head are not my voices they are the voices of others 

the panic attacks that I have result from the attacks my body has endured 

the words that replay in my head are the only melody that I can sing too 

your a bald headed bitch 

your nothing but a pair boobs and a vagina that is what you are to men 

your a nigger 

your a hoe 

your a fagat 

your fat 

your depression isn't real 

your feelings don't matter 

your worthlessness 

you look like a leopard with spots 

go screw yourself 

go kill yourself 

your better off dead 

you pussy lover 

you have no life

if you kill yourself its not my fault blame it on my wife 

you wanna kill yourself so bad jump 

your look ulgy bald

oh your going to die send me a cake for ur funeral

your an abuser 

your a manipulaor 

your cold blooded 

your a back stabber 

you just want attention 

your brother has problems he didnt mean to 

your ulgy 

no one will ever love you 

your dumb 

your never going to be anything in life

your a mistake 

you should have been bore a boy 

your life is so perfect 

you smile too much

go take your pills 

your sick and your going to die 

there no point in fighting 

your a failure 

theese words have no meaning unless I put value on them 

I rember everything every hurtful  thing people have ever told me 

I could go and on and write every negative thing someone has said 

but wouldnt that be giving power or undiveded attention to hateful speech