Disenchanted

I wanted to be president.

I stood behind a podium for the first time and felt it: purpose.

It rushed through me like adrenaline, a new sense of confidence for the girl who could never quite fit into any role.

I didn't need drugs to feel high.

I wanted to believe in our government

I believed that lawyers were better than doctors

That the justice system worked

That crime was always punished and good was always rewarded

I wanted to believe that our government was good, that it was the best!

I wanted to believe that our government worked for the people-not the other way around.

I wanted to save the world

I spoke about Gandhi and I spoke about hunger, I spoke about feminism and I spoke about racial equality. I spoke about LGBTQ+ rights. I spoke about the environment(RIP), and I spoke about change. Change. What an unremarkable word.

I want to serve in public office

But I know I won't

I'm brown, an atheist, and a woman

And one day I turned on the news and realized:

People don't vote for that

I want to be a lawyer

But I am no longer proud

Of a broken justice system

Of criminals that walk free

And good people who sit behind bars

I no longer believe

Our government does shit

Nothing ever gets done

And when it is it's never good

I no longer believe

In a system that does nothing but divide

The people of a nation once strong

Into two colors: blue and red

But we were once blue, red, and white

I want to save the world

But I hear the people scream

They are selfish and they are greedy

They only care about what happens to them

And they can't believe in a broken arm

If they've never had one themselves

They can't believe in hunger

When they always have full shelves

They can't believe in inequality

When they wake up everyday

And never are afraid

They throw trash onto the streets

Leave picking it up to me

And one day I realized.

Maybe the world doesn't want to be saved.