Grapefruit

Ode to viral YouTube video 'Angel Teaching Her Grapefruit Technique.' (Thank you for the laugh and first-rate entertainment, 'Auntie Angel.')

When my deep yearning for grapefruit kindled,

At the edge of certainty I dwindled,

Wary of the kinky thrill girded by this rite,

But accepting it as an existential highlight,

I let Auntie Angel tuck me under her wing,

Preaching the noble art of grape fruiting,

I tied countless bandanas to shield from view,

The fleshy citrus I’d push their member through,

Chuckling as each thought me giving head,

Only for fruit to be going down instead,

And when they came, I whipped the blindfold off;

Most would stare disbelieving, and frown, and scoff,

All these wasted years spent pulling chicks,

When mere citrus fruit could harden dicks.