Listen to Momma.

My mother, has always been a firm believer in fighting for what you want. And when 'Alex', came along, I knew well, he was what I wanted. She'd describe how she left her abusive relationships, how she dropped anything in her life that made her unhappy in the slightest. When I met Alex, he was quiet, mysterious, and he had some vibe about him that made me wonder for more. I immediately was entranced by his smile, his dimples, every simple imperfection about him. While he managed to make his way onto my mind, he also managed to make a disaster in it too. 

Momma has always supported about everything I did. "Seras un ganador en mi corazon." When I lost at the chance to sing in the 3rd grade talent show, I was devastated. However, those words reminded me that indeed, I was a winner in her heart, and not one lost trophy could change this. She wasn't always as strong though. I still recall her tears as she wondered when her history of abuse would end. I guess, she'd always end up recovering, rather wiser and more strong-willed. To others, she was judgmental, rude, bossy. To me though, she was misunderstood, and simply powerful. She held her head high, and was very outspoken. I looked up to her, as she guided the pathway that led to many greater things. In fact, I believed Alex was one of those things. 

When I first talked to Alex, I couldn't stop admiring every small feature about him. The way his eyes squinted if he didn't understand my corny jokes. The way he threw his head back in a genuine laugh. Those were little things I noticed, the things I also wish I didn't. The second time around I liked him was different. It was more intense, as I now knew to expect a challenging person, without a change of heart. Eventually, when I realized I was tired of relying on false hope and sudden mood swings, I gave up. That night, I cried, debating whether to continue longing for his attention or give up. My mom happened to come home early, and when she came to greet me, she noticed my red, puffy eyes, and dropped all responsibility. She talked with me for about an hour, and when she got up to leave, her last words were, "Mija, don't wait for one guy in your life when you're smart enough to know that you deserve better." Fast forward to now, I carry that moment in my heart, and I know that will make it's milestone, as the exact second I knew my worth, knew that I deserved better.