Finding Him

Rushing through the streets of rainy day Manhattan, I struggle to hustle past the dozens of people constantly bumping into me with their luggage, whether it's their child or a bag. I see the coffee shop lights in the distance and let out a mental sigh of relief. Just as I was only a couple feet away from my destination, I immediately fell to the cold and wet floor.

Great way to start my Wednesday morning.

Note the sarcasm. I look down, too humiliated to see who my sudden attacker was. I continue making my way into the coffee shop, before I got stopped. 

"Are you okay? I wasn't looking where I was going, and now I got you soaked.." I didn't hear the rest of his blabbering, because when I gathered the nerve to look up, I swear I didn't feel my racing heartbeat anymore. All the information known about him, came to me all at once.

Known from 15 years ago. The lake.

Well, this is my 13 year old perspective.

It was Science Camp, a once-in-a-lifetime experience, generally hyped for the 8th graders. Tuesday night, around 9pm, we had all come back from a campfire, and quite frankly, nobody was tired. My best friend at the time, suggested we go out to meet the cutest boys in our grade. I was hesitant about the idea, but my thoughts went blank, and suddenly, I just went "Fuck it! Let's go." At the boys' cabin, sitting next to the lake, is where we went. I had a MAJOR crush on Angel Maddox. He was every girl's dream. Hot, athletic, what more could you want? My best friend abandoned me to go with the boys in the cabin, and I was left by myself near the lake. I sat there, awaiting for her to return, when I saw Angel come outside. I stiffened up as soon as he sat down in front of me. 

"What's got you out here Alina?" I remember my hormones being out of turn when he said my name. 

"Not much." Was all I said. 

It was quiet for a while, before he put his hand on my thigh, and slowly slid up. I don't know why exactly I allowed him to, but I did. I felt some sensation, and I was so nervous about what it was. I wasn't educated in that area, as you could tell. 

He took my virginity that night.

 I'm not sure how long I gazed at him for, but it became quiet for a bit. He had the same innocent, and child-like face. One that would make any girl swoon, with his brown doe eyes and voluminous lips, only enhanced by his messily wet bedhead. 

"It's fine." was all I managed to blurt out before I hurried into the shop. I went towards my stool, well, where I usually sat, at least. 

"Wait!!" I heard the same voice, which was actually aggravating me now. I turn around, and silently wait as his heavy pants got louder as he came near.

"I.. I want to apologize, with a drink, on me." 

"It's fine", I say again, now with a strain in my voice.

I make strenuous eye contact with him, and his eyes widened.

"Alina?"