vampire movie

Why are all vampire movies concerned with finding some special cross?

And to everything holy I swear it’s the same goddamn cross every time.

Crucifix.

It’s the same crucifix every time.

The gold one…the one with the red rubies in it.

The one that every vampire and priest wants to get their grubby little hands on.

“Mmhmmm.”

But wait, these are no ordinary “nail em’ sticks.” This one can do special stuff.

Like, depending on whether or not I have this crucifix in a tight fist-crunch, is going to determine whether a pasty Tom Cruise, explodes like a plate of spaghetti in the microwave, or, it'll let him throw a party on my neck.

It’s the same exact movie.