I need a nap and a timeout.
As a parent, and of course as an adult, I have come to realize the irony of certain sayings and actions geared toward children that would greatly help out the adult world.
For example, there is the saying, “Everything I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten”. Everything? Come on, really? Then why were we tortured with another 12 years of school just to graduate. Why are we not out working or in college at the age of six (child labor laws aside)? If there was nothing else to know, we should all just truly give in, give up, and – you get the idea.
Another issue is the whole nap ritual. I don't know many 3, 4 or 5 year olds that truly relish the thought of a daily nap. I have seen children kicking, screaming, and whining just to avoid one. Parents fighting for almost the entire nap time just to get Johnny or Susie to relax is truly ironic because no one in that scenario is the least bit relaxed . The parent looks and feels as if he or she tried to cross a raging river full of crocodiles in the middle of monsoon season. Yet I, as an adult, would absolutely be thrilled at the thought of being able to crawl under my desk with a blanket and pillow for an hour. Unfortunately, I have to settle for 20 cups of coffee, and something sugary, the latter truly as a pacifier, just to make it through my work day.
Moving on to Timeouts. They are punishments for kids, yet for adults would be an absolute bonus. I know many adults and parents that would be thrilled at having time in a corner by themselves without someone demanding attention, time, or even monthly reports. I, myself, have been known to seek refuge in a bathroom while at work to escape the drama that comes with forcing people of various personalities in a space the size of a sardine can with sometimes unrealistic expectations and deadlines.
Adults would greatly benefit from naps and timeouts. Productivity would most likely increase, mental health days decrease, and overall happiness would actually be a possibility if we could take these childhood absolutes for ourselves. But, until we unite and demand these for adults, looks like it is back to navigating the mine field maze of work and parenthood with little rest. What? I have a meeting in 10 minutes, two reports due, the school's nurse on the phone, and the washing machine just flooded the house? Ugh! I need (and desperately want) a nap and a timeout.