I Pity You

You use to tell me how much you loved me. 

And as I stand here today as the person that I am, knowing what I know, and who I've become, I wonder...

What exactly was your interpretation of love? I use to think you were the ideal image I had always had in my mind. You were so perfect in the beginning that you had me fooled quite well. You told me what you knew I wanted to hear and you did just enough to make me want you more than I honestly should have. You lied. You betrayed. You abused. You manipulated. You stole. 

How does one explain themselves for actions that don't justify what's right? 

I gave you everything. My heart. My feelings. My future. My body. My trust. And for what exactly? For you to dominate and destroy? Your interpretation of love is to sterilize anything that's pure. Demolish what you know is innocent. Something that's good. Something that is real. The truth is, you're a coward. You hide behind what you fear most: happiness. Because you're in a never ending nightmare where good things never occur. 

You're mistaken. You've allowed your nightmare to become your reality. You are no longer in control of your life, so, you thought you could control mine. Make me think you were all that I had. That you were all that I needed. But you were wrong. YOU needed me. I was your light. Your direction. Your hope. And when I reached out a hand, you smacked it away. To you, I was unrealistic. A mirage. A dream that you would soon wake up from with tears rolling down your face from realizing it wasn't real. I WAS real. And I was loving you more than you would ever know.

Honestly, I pity you. You never knew what love was like. How to accept it from others and give it back in return. You were lost. And as much as I tried to help it seemed to only hurt. But it wasn't me directly, it was your mentality telling you that you didn't deserve this love. That you didn't deserve anything. 

I just wanted to let you know, that as much as you hurt me, I still love you in a way that I will always care. Know that there is always going to be good as much as their is bad. And that this life has so much beauty and is ready for you to take in its view.