Want

I'm not good with words as poets are

And I'm not sure if it's something to learn

I can't speak of past lost loves because I was never brave enough to try

I can't say I know what it's like to stay up all night questioning my existence because I already know unquestionable I exist but don't want to

I don't lay awake wondering what's the point of it all because I already know there isn't one

I don't think this is living.

I don't feel how others do or how I think they do

I want to be able to cry just because there's something in my eye

I want to know what it's like to feel besides regret, besides misery, besides blank

Because I don't know why I regret when I've never done anything that could hurt

I don't feel sadness anymore

Everything's just mute in grays at this point

I want to know how to feel