Lessons from the littles

Last night I received some upsetting and disappointing news. News of this sort would upset anyone, but due to my type A, routine oriented nature, any deviation from a plan causes me an elevated amount of distress. I became dramatic and wondered how I would ever work through the pain.

Because I had been crying my eyes were a bit red and swollen, not a lot, but enough that someone close to me would know something was up. That “someone” were my children.

I try not to burden my children with adult worries, but I also feel it’s important to teach them how to deal with emotions. We are not stoic robots, we are humans with feelings and sometimes, the feelings we are experiencing are not pleasant. I used their question as an opportunity to teach them about processing disappointment. I explained that it’s ok to be sad and express it, and that there is no shame in that. But it’s important to keep moving forward. Don’t dwell… take the opportunity to come up with ways to try and avoid repeating the same thing.

My youngest immediately walked over and hugged me. He said he was sorry that this had happened to me and he was sad for me. My oldest did the same. We shared a three way hug and then I thanked them.

As I was laying in bed, I reflected on the moment and how proud I was of them. How they can appreciate someone else’s pain and display empathy.

Today is the last day of their school year. I woke them as I always do and whispered in their ear “Happy Last day being in Grade X”. When I did this to my oldest son, his face broke into a smile and without his eyes opening let out a, "Yay!”. I started to walk out of his bedroom and he called me back. “Mom, can I have a hug.”

“Of course.”

As we sat hugging, I asked what the hug was for.

“For you Mom. I’m sorry about your news”.

I squeezed him tighter and started to cry.

See, my oldest son has disabilities. Lifelong, life effecting disabilities that will not allow him to live a life like most of you reading this. He was born into this world disadvantaged and has never known the easy life. He struggles every day, in many ways.

Every day, my son lives with disappointment in a great sense. Every day, he has cause to be upset. Yet, he simply gets on with it. He sometimes has moments, but for the most part, he picks himself up and just gets on with life… with living. On the last day of his school year, he woke and his first thought was about his Mom’s hurt…

My little man has taught me so much about resilience, kindness and adaptability. He is the definition of strength and perseverance and today, he taught me about empathy in a way that I will never forget.