January 16, 2017

I find myself in this same room again, only this time, there is a door in front of me. My hands still burn, but I am able to power through the pain to open the door and leave my prison. “Whoa.” I breathe as I examine the world before me. I see the White House, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial. The sky is red with flames of fury and it is in this moment the national icons before me explode into a fiery inferno. The burning in my hands is stronger now, and I realize that it is I who is to blame.

“Allison Cameron.” the man says, appearing from the smoke, “Hear me.”

“I can hear you.” I reply, “Who are you?”

“You soon will know; Jon Hanson will tell.”

“What is happening?”

“You soon will know; Jon Hanson will tell.” he repeats, his words cutting me like a knife.

“Okay.” I say, opening my eyes. “Did you say something, Lizzy?” Fee-fee asks me, coming out of the bathroom wearing a towel around her hair. “No.” I reply, “Did I?”

“Allison, are you feeling well?” Fee-fee inquires, worried.

“Yes, I’m fine.” I assure, looking at my watch, “Fee-fee, it is almost eight, why didn’t you wake me?”

“I was going to,” she confesses, “but you looked so peaceful and I didn’t see how a few extra minutes could hurt. And then, I forgot. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Fee-fee.” I smile, “Professor Westmont won’t mind me being a tad late to class.”

Rolling out of my bed, I grab some clothes and take the bathroom. I get my shower, brush my teeth, and do my make-up as fast as I can. Around 8:30, I snatch a granola bar from Fee-fee’s stash and head to the Eastman Hall for my class at nine. On the way, I run into Jax, who is late as usual.

“Allison?!” he shouts from across the street, running over, “How are you feeling? You’re running late.”

“I slept in.” I admit, “Fee-fee didn’t want to wake me.” Jaxson smiles as he always does and we hurry to class. Professor Westmont is in the middle of lecturing when we enter.

“Allison?” she breathes, remembering there are a hundred other students in the room and returning to a professional tone, “See me after class, Miss Cameron.”

I nod and go to my seat up front. Jax jogs to the back of the room and sits as well. I usually love this class, but today, it is different. It is like everyone is staring at me.

“Because they are.” the man says. He is sitting next to me. The man continues, “They notice your new demeanor, Allison, your demeanor has changed. You feel different because you are different. You see, see the world as the world sees me. See the world as the world sees me!”

“See the world as the world sees me.” I whisper aloud, “See the world, as the world sees me.” “Allison!” Westmont shouts, snapping me out of my trance, “Allison! Do you hear me?!”

“Yes!” I gasp, looking around, “Where did everyone go?”

“They left when class ended, Allison.” Westmont informs, “Are you okay?”

“Yes! I am fine! Why does everyone keep asking me if I am alright?!” I explode, seeing Westmont’s concern, “I’m sorry.”

Westmont nods and looks over at the door as a man walks in. It is Dr. Hanson. “When’s your next class, Janet?” he asks Westmont. “Not until one.” she responds, “You have my full attention.”

“Allison.” Dr. Hanson says to me, “Remember me?” “Yes.” I reply, noticing a bruise across his face, “You are hurt. The man did it.”

Dr. Hanson nods and opens his mouth to speak, but I continue, “What was his name?” “That’s not important.” Westmont speaks up. “Why do you ask?” Dr. Hanson questions me. “I know what you are doing, Dr. Hanson, I’m a psychology major.” I say, “Can we please just talk without you using psychiatric procedures? I just need to know his name.”

“Okay.” Dr. Hanson concedes, “His name was Devin MacIntyre.”

“Devin.” I repeat, “MacIntyre.”

“That’s me!” the man says to me. Dr. Hanson and Westmont are either gone or I can’t notice them. “What is going on?” I ask Dr. Hanson after a blink.

“I was hoping you could tell me.” Dr. Hanson returns, “I hear you have been acting differently lately, and well, so has Devin.”

“Jon!” Westmont chastises, “You said you were going to talk to her! Not talk about Mr. MacIntyre!”

“It’s okay, Professor Westmont.” I defend, “I have respect for the science community, and I know that I can help. That is why I chose to become a psychologist. I want to help. Let me.”

“I started writing a diary.” I tell them both, “It is in my dorm, I have written pretty much everything down in it last night and plan to continue doing so to keep track of, everything.”

Dr. Hanson and Professor Westmont are both listening intently. “I’d be happy to show you it.” I add, “Because, things have been getting pretty terrifying. I have been having dreams.”

“Dreams?” Dr. Hanson clarifies.

“Yes.” I nod, “Give me until Friday to keep record. If it gets too bad, I will tell you immediately and then the decision will be up to you where to go next. I only have one request: when I meet with you Friday, I want to see Devin. He has been in my dreams, and for some reason I know that I can get him out if I can face him again.”

“Very well, Allison.” Dr. Hanson agrees, shaking my hand, “Professor Westmont will give you my number. Call me if you need anything.” Smiling, Dr. Hanson nods to Westmont and then walks away.

“Are you sure, Allison?” she questions hesitantly.

I nod. “Give me the number, everything is under control.”

Jaxson catches up with me after that and stays close until I get back to my dorm. “I trust your judgement.” he nods, opening the door for me, “You couldn’t be top of our class if you didn’t know what you were doing!” Jax smiles and I smile back. “See you later, Jax.” I say, shutting the door behind me. Inside, Fee-fee is making lunch. “Lizzy!” she chirps, “How’s it going, baby?”

“I talked to Dr. Hanson, Fee-fee.” I brief, “I’m going to meet with him Friday. And I am going to meet with Devin MacIntyre while I’m there.”

“Devin MacIntyre?” she inquires, “Who’s that?” “He’s the man who attacked me.” I inform, startling Fee-fee. “ARE YOU INSANE, ALLISON?!” she shrieks, “YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS IN WANTING TO SEE THAT FREAK!!!”

“Freak?” Devin MacIntyre gasps, offended by my roommate, “Crazy? Maybe. But a freak? We don’t think so!”

“Stop it MacIntyre!” I shout, as my left hand starts to burn, “Stop it!”

“Yes, Fee-fee.” I reply calmly, “I’m serious. Like I told Dr. Hanson, I became a psychology major because I want to help people, and this is my first chance to do that.” I smile at Fee-fee and she sighs. “Okay.” Fee-fee gives in, “I’m going with you though.”

“I can deal with that.” I grin, “There’s far worse company.”

Fee-fee serves me some soup and sits next to me. We eat in silence as I update my diary. Fee-fee is respectful, thankfully, and doesn’t pry.

“So, you and Jaxson.” she states, finishing her soup, “Anything going on?” “Heh.” I answer, putting down my pen, “He’s just a friend, Fee-fee. Plus, I don’t think he’s interested.” “Gee!” she yelps, “How could he not be interested in you?! Baby, you’re a catch!”

“Thank.” I smirk, “You really think so?”

“Totally!” Fee-fee assures me, “Now the question is, do you like him?” “NO!” I exclaim, awkwardly laughing it off, “He’s not my type.”

“Oh, really?” Fee-fee teases, “So you are not attracted to him at all? Because I sense something.” “Of course you would.” I snicker, giving her a nudge as she passed me by, “He is just a concerned friend. Just like you.” “Heh.” she replies, “Yeah, just like me.”

I go to my next class, History of Psychology, and walk into the room. It is like all eyes are on me. I have the slight urge to scream, but I resist. My hands start to burn, and I look down. Luckily, it’s nothing visible; I feel like I already stand out too much.

Quickly taking my seat, I open my notebook and try to focus. Devin MacIntyre doesn’t matter right now. What matters is this list of famous psychologists and what they did. Today’s the test, and Professor Lauren isn’t one to go easy on you. Being the only other psychology professor, he works really closely with Professor Westmont, but sadly, she hasn’t rubbed off on him.

“Class.” he barks at exactly 3:00, “Your test begins now. You have an hour.” The students all launch from their seats and snatch the test from the table in the front of the room as Professor Lauren looks on.

I return to my seat and look at the paper with the same dismay that I hear from the sighs of my classmates. HALF OF THE NAMES WEREN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT IN CLASS!!! THEY AREN’T EVEN IN THE BOOK!!! I know, I’ve read it cover to cover.

“That’s right, Allison Cameron.” MacIntyre laughs as I look over at him, “Get mad! Get angry! See the world as the world sees me!”

“Focus Allison!” I hiss to myself, earning a scolding look from Professor Lauren. I look at the page and quickly fill in the ones I could. All the while, I know Devin MacIntyre is sitting three seats away. He is laughing hysterically. I growl.

“Miss Cameron!” Professor Lauren screams, “Silence while I am reading!”

I honestly can’t believe this man. He gets tenure, and then doesn’t even teach! He’s gotten hundreds of complaints, but for some reason the Dean either doesn’t know or doesn’t care. He gets on my nerves! I groan.

“I said silence!” he shouts again. I just roll my eyes and randomly fill out the rest of the answers. When I’m done, I march up to his desk, slap the test in front of him and say, “This isn’t the end of this, Professor.” As I leave, I hear the sounds of several of my classmates clapping, but Professor Lauren quickly quiets them with a harsh “SHH!!!”

My next class is Experimental Psychology. Lucky for me, Westmont teaches it. I walk in at 4:18 and sit in my seat. I had left Devin MacIntyre with Professor Lauren, so hopefully this class goes better than my last one did.

“How are we today, Miss Cameron?” Professor Westmont asks me when she sees me. “Better, I believe, Professor.” I smile, easing her tensions, “What are we learning today?”

“We are reviewing the steps in a successful psychology experiment.” she informs the class, “Then each of you will be creating your own experiment. A simple one-page report is due Wednesday so by Friday you’ll be approved to perform the experiment. The study will last four months minimum with a minimum sample size of 100-300, unless you are doing an individual study, then email me your proposal tonight.”

“Individual study, you say?” Devin MacIntyre laughs, “How about you study me? Of course she’d approve that!”

I smile my clearly fake smile as Westmont continues and Devin laughs. At the end of class, she hands out a packet regarding the project to everyone but me. She must want to see me.

As the others leave, I walk up to my professor and ask for the packet. “If you want,” she begins, “you can skip this project to focus on your current situation.”

I nod. “Thank you, Professor.” I smirk, “Oh, and for the record, Professor Lauren gave the class a very unfair test today. I suggest you look into the grades when he’s finished, because there is a very good chance that the majority of the class failed.”

It was now Westmont’s turn to nod. “I will see to it that if Professor Lauren is being unfair, he gets investigated by a committee.” she smiles. Westmont’s father is the Dean, so she can actually get through to him.

Soon I am off again, heading back to my dorm. “See the world as the world sees me” is still echoing through my head. Devin MacIntyre has to be close.

I stroll along at a constant speed, not really watching where I’m going. “Allison Cameron, look at you!” Devin’s gruff voice rings out as he walks alongside me, “A young woman with a purpose: so nice to see in today’s society.”

“Why are you following me?” I ask, walking faster, “Why am I so important to you?”

“These questions will all be answered soon enough.” he replies, “Too bad by then it’ll be too late!”

“What?!” I gasp as I collide with another student and fall on my butt, “I am so sorry! Jaxson?” “No problem, Allison.” he reassures, helping me up, “Zoned out I presume?”

“Yeah a little.”

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“Good!”

I look at my watch. It is almost five. “Jax?” I ask, “What are you doing for dinner?” “Not much.” he replies with a grin, “Maybe a side salad?”

I grin and shake my head. “That doesn’t sound too appetizing.” I say, thinking it over, “Would you like to come back to my dorm for some Monday-Night Macaroni? Fee-fee always makes too much, so one more would be a blessing. Consider it a thank you for all you’ve done these past few days, and an apology for knocking into you like a New Yorker.”

“Sounds good.” he smiles, “I just need to stop by my dorm first to drop off this stuff and grab a protein shake. You kay?”

I nod and follow him to his dorm across the streets. We walk inside and go upstairs to his room. In all honesty, I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Jaxson opens the door and invites me in. His room is similar to mine, except for the deco of course.

On the side that I presume to be his is an easel and canvas. His walls are covered with artwork similar to the one in progress and his bed is neatly made with light blue sheets. And I thought I was organized! This kid has a filing cabinet! “Wow.” I gape, “Impressive.”

Jax just smiles as he reaches in his mini fridge, takes out one of many strawberry protein shakes, and sets his bag on his bed. “Okay, I’m ready.” he tells me, “After you!”

Back at the dorm, Fee-fee isn’t surprised to see Jax with me. “Of course we have enough, baby!” she assures me with a wink, “We always have enough for one more.” I sit on the sofa with Jaxson as Fee-fee stirs the large kettle of macaroni on the stove and starts to hum the theme song of her favorite TV show.

“Smells good.” Jaxson compliments Fee-fee, who rolls her eyes jokingly in response, “And I’m not just saying that either, it really does!”

“Do I sense some jealousy?!” MacIntyre hisses into my ear. “No.” I respond, blinking to find myself in that nightmarish world again. The national icons have been completely burned by now, but their flaming shadows still stand tall. A fiery ball explodes above, and I walk over to Devin.

“Tell me, Devin MacIntyre, what did you do to me on Saturday?” I interrogate, “What is happening?”

Devin doesn’t respond, but I know what he would say if he did. “See the world as the world sees me.” I huff, “What does that mean?!” My hands are on fire now, and the flames are spreading up my forearms. “TELL ME!!!” I scream, fire streaming from my hands, blasting away my antagonist, “What is happening?!”

“Jon Hanson knows, so you’ll wait and see!” he echoes, “By then, I’ll be gone and it will be too late!”

“Don’t you think so, Lizzy?” Fee-fee asks. “What will be too late?” I wonder, confusing my two friends. “She asked if you think her macaroni and cheese is the best in town.” Jax informs.

“Of course!” I smile, sounding extremely fake, “Yes, I love it. It is so great.” I’m not lying. My roommate’s cooking is the bomb! I couldn’t ask for better, but right now I am a bit preoccupied.

“Well,” Fee-fee pivots, “I guess it’s time to let Jaxson decide for himself. It’s suppertime babies!”

Jaxson and I get our plates and take a fair share of the dish, and Fee-fee zooms in for the rest. We sit at the table and chow down. “Whoa!” Jax exclaims after the first bite, “This is the best macaroni and cheese I have ever had!”

“He’s a keeper!” Fee-fee taunts, taking another bite. Right now, I want to make like an ostrich and shove my head in the sand because I am ninety-percent sure that I am blushing badly. I shoot Fee-fee a shut-the-heck-up look and smile at Jax. “She’s joking.” I chuckle, “Heh.”

Jax left at eight and I immediately scold Fee-fee for the act. “Don’t put me in those types of situations!” I chastise, “I am not looking for that kind of relationship, so please don’t make Jax think I like him, because I don’t!”

“Okay!” Fee-fee defends herself, “I apologize! I get it! I know what it feels like to be wanted when you don’t want to date. I mean, look at all this!” Fee-fee motions to herself with the flick of her wrists and does a cutesy little pose, making me laugh. “What am I going to do with you?!” I giggle, warranting a wink from Fee-fee, “Heh, who am I kidding? What would I do without you?!”