I won’t lie. I was pretty psyched for the trip today. As a psychology major at Washington University in D.C., I really love any chance I get to look into the mind of another human. To feel what they feel, and help them understand that. So, of course, I was quick to volunteer when my professor asked if anyone would be interested in visiting the Washington D.C. Mental Institution.

The Washington D.C. Mental Institution is a psychologist’s dream. They house the nation’s most peculiar patients whose illnesses are as of yet unknown. The residents are kept under close surveillance 24/7 so scientists like myself can determine the issue and try to help.

So, I arrive at the institution at eight o’clock sharp and park next to my professor, Janet Westmont, at the front gate per her instructions. “Professor!” I call, getting out of my vehicle to greet her, “I’m here!”

“I can see that, Miss Cameron.” she says with a smile, “Did you happen to see Mr. Mathis when you left campus?”

“Jaxson? Yeah, he was walking out of the library as I left.” I reply, recalling my clumsy classmate’s book balancing act, “Is he coming too? If I had known I could have given him a ride.”

Professor Westmont smiles, “It’s fine dear, I’m sure he is on his way.”

“Are we just waiting on him then?” I ask. I never would have expected Jaxson Mathis to be one to take an interest in psychology. It isn’t even his major.

Westmont nods and shortly after I hear his tenor voice shouting, “I’m here! I’m here!” Jaxson runs over and stands next to me. “Hey Allison!” he chirps, flashing a smile, “Is this it?”

“Yes, and we must be going.” Westmont assures, walking over to a man wearing a blue dress shirt, “Dr. Hanson is waiting. You can take it from here, Jon.”

Dr. Jon Hanson leads us through the facility and down a long white hall as he tells the daily operations that will take place today. “Right now, the residents are in the cafeteria having breakfast. Our techs will record everything they do throughout the day, carefully taking notes for my colleagues and I.” Dr. Hanson takes a breath and directs us into a room filled with filing cabinets, “Right now I will pick up my charts so I have them come nine o’clock when I meet with the residents to talk about any problems they may be having. You will be sitting in while I talk to some of our less compulsory patients.”

Dr. Hanson pauses to grin at a resident as they walk by, looking side-to-side as if at any moment someone would pull a knife. “That’s Shelly.” he notes, “We believe she has a rare form of schizophrenia that may have been caused by stress. She used to work in a grocery store in Pennsylvania until she attacked a customer.”

While Dr. Hanson tells us about the facility, I am, for lack of better words, stoked. I have been here not even ten minutes and already I am learning so much! This is great.

“Any questions?” he asks as red lights begin to flash, “On second thought, we should go inside.” Dr. Hanson opens his office door and the four of us walk in. A wave of discomfort passes over me as he locks the door behind him. “Is, everything okay?” Jaxson queries, equally as disturbed as I.

“Yes, of course.” Dr. Hanson assures us, “That just means a resident has gotten a little rowdy and has to be sedated. There is absolutely nothing to worry about; it happens all the time here.”

Jaxson nods and looks at me. His green eyes are full of concern, so I offer a smile. It seems to work and he focuses back on Dr. Hanson, who had just answered a phone call. “Yes, one moment.” he whispers into the device and hangs up, “I will be right back. Please stay here, I will be back soon.”

He is quick to leave and locks us in, but I can’t help but notice the door did not latch. “I got it.” I say, getting up to shut the door, “He probably wants this shut tight.”

I go over despite visible dissention from the others, but instead of shutting the door like I said, something comes over me and I run out into the hall. Westmont and Jaxson both yell for me to return, but I can’t. Several yards away is Dr. Hanson with a man. They both look over, and before Dr. Hanson can tell me to go back inside, the man knocks him to the floor and runs at me. I can’t move, I am locked in as the man grabs my shoulders and looks me in the eyes. Everything changes. His eyes capture me in a trance. Time seems to pause and I hear voices. I hear many voices. Jaxson, yes. Westmont, yes. Even Dr. Hanson and the techs who are trying to pull me free.

“See the world as the world sees me!” the man hisses, his voice the loudest as it echoes through my mind, “See the world as the world sees me! Allison Cameron, see the world as the world sees me!”

Then, I wake up. “Where am I?” I groan, and instantly Jaxson and Westmont are on either side of my bed. “You’re in the hospital.” Jaxson tells me, “How do you feel?”

“Different.” I respond, doctors now filing into the room, “I just needed to see what was happening.”

“Relax, dear. It’s alright now.” Westmont calms as my vitals are being taken, turning to the doctor, “How is she?”

“Her blood pressure is elevated and her pulse is a little high, but that’s to be expected after what she just went through.” the doctor answers, “I think if you get her back to her dorm and let her rest tomorrow, she’ll be back to normal by class on Monday. I’ll get discharge papers ready, just, keep a close eye on her.”

Jaxson takes my hand and smiles. It makes me feel a little bit better. “Who was that?” I question. “That was the doctor, Allison.” Jaxson informs. “No.” I go again, “Who was that man?”

“Don’t worry about him anymore.” Westmont cuts in, “That’s all over with now. Let’s get you back to campus. You’ll feel better in the morning.”

“Yeah.” I sigh, “I’ll feel better in the morning.”

After they discharge me, Jaxson drives me back to campus and leads me to my dorm where my roommate Ophelia Zamora anxiously awaits. “ALLISON!!!” she shrieks as I enter our room with Jaxson, “How are you, baby?!”

“Fine, Fee-fee.” I assure, half-believing myself. “She needs to rest.” Jaxson updates Fee-fee, leading me to my bed, “Professor Westmont wanted me to ask if you could watch her through the night to be safe. I’m going to take a friend up to bring her car back in the morning, and then I’ll be back so you can catch up on some sleep.”

“Who needs sleep?!” Fee-fee laughs. I know she is faking it because she could sleep a week straight if she wanted to, but she cares too much not to take care of me. I don’t know what I’d do without her.

Jaxson heads out, pulling Fee-fee to the side to say something, but I am too busy looking for pajamas to hear or care what he says.

When he is gone, Fee-fee puts me to bed and turns off the lamp by my bed. “Let me know if you need me, baby.” she smirks as she walks over to her bed and sits down, her multi-colored hair swishing over her back.

Time passes and I look at the ceiling as my eyes begin to close. “See the world as the world sees me.” I sigh.

I wake up early and look around at my dorm. My side of the room is adorned with reference books and awards. Fee-fee’s side; however, is plastered with posters of her favorite comedians from late night TV and a few classic literary works. “Good morning, Fee-fee.” I smile, catching the English major’s attention.

“You’re up!” she giggles, sitting up and hopping off the bed, “How’d you sleep, Lizzy?”

“I slept well.” I lie, trying to forget the terrible nightmare I had. It was about the man, well, sort of. I was in a white room by myself, and I just heard his voice, chanting, “See the world as the world sees me!” I looked around but found no way out. No way away from the man. He was everywhere, and nowhere at the same time. Then, I looked down at my hands and wanted to scream. They were on fire. I yelled, but no sound would come. It was terrifying.

“Yeah, I slept very well.” I repeat to alleviate Fee-fee’s suspicions, “I had a nice dream about winning the peace prize. It was fantastic.”

I can’t believe what I am saying right now! I lied to Fee-fee! I never lie, especially to Fee-fee! Something is off here, but Fee-fee doesn’t need to worry any more than she already is.

I glance at the door as someone knocks from the other side. “I’m back!” Jaxson shouts from the hall, knocking again as Fee-fee opens the door, “Ohp! Sorry Ophelia.”

“No prob, mate.” Fee-fee laughs tiredly, “I’m just glad you are here so I can SLEEP!”

Jaxson walks in and smiles. “You look good today.” he chuckles. I glance at myself in the mirror and laugh. My chestnut-tinted hair looks like a giant congelation of fluff that just happened to land on my head. “Heh.” I smirk, “I just woke up.”

“I can tell.” teases Jaxson, remembering the brown paper bag in his hand, “Oh! I brought breakfast. You like Paul’s sausage breakfast sandwiches, right?” Of course I do! I get one every morning from Paul’s Café on my way to class, and the whole campus knows. I thank Jaxson and graciously accept the friendly gesture. “Would you like a glass of milk?” I offer, but Jaxson shakes his head. “I have a drink.” he assures me, showing a protein shake as proof, “Ta da!”

Jaxson sits at our small dinner table and unloads the food, handing me my sandwich as I join him. Fee-fee, who is fast asleep, will have to warm hers up later as she usually does. It is 8:43 when we finish eating, and Jaxson checks his phone while I start-up my laptop. “I don’t think so!” Jaxson objects, quickly closing my device, “Westmont wanted me to make sure you relax today, so that’s what we are going to do. That means no working for once, Allison.”

“Relax?” I gasp, “We have a research paper due this Friday!”

“Westmont gave you an extension.” he informs me, “She says if you take today as a day to recuperate, you’ll have an additional week. She’s really concerned, Allison.”

“Well if I can get an extra week for relaxing, I guess I better make the most of my day off.” I grin, “You know what I haven’t done in a while?”

“What?”

“A photography session!” I giggle, holding up my finger, “You wait right there until I am ready!”

I run off, get a shower, and put on a sweatshirt and jeans. By nine o’clock Jaxson and I are walking out of my dorm house with my camera. “Are you sure you should be out walking around?” Jaxson protests several minutes later. “Trust me Jax,” I guarantee, silently kicking myself for the new nickname, “nothing relaxes me more than a day of taking pictures.”

We walk down the main path through campus as I take pictures left and right. “Aha!” I gasp, getting a wonderful idea, “Follow me!”

Leading Jaxson down a less-traveled path, I run into the woods with my black-haired friend close behind. “Where are we going?” he calls as if I am losing my mind.

“Here.” I answer, stopping in my tracks to take a picture of the beautiful scenery. The snow is falling, and several hundred yards away are the frozen waterfalls that look just as calming in winter as in any other season. “Smile Jax!” I say, snapping a picture when he gets near, “Not bad.”

“Okay, so how about we get inside?” Jax suggests, nodding back to main campus as the wind picks up, “Paul is having a two-for-one grilled cheese special for lunch and it’s almost noon. I know I could use some tomato soup to warm me up.”

“Lessgo!” I decide quickly, taking the lead once again, “I’ll pay!”

It’s a nice walk to the café, despite the temperature being below zero. Negatives aren’t a biggie for a Maine girl like me, but Jaxson is from Florida, so I can see why he doesn’t like winter that much.

“Well if it isn’t Ally and my man, Jaxson Mathis!” Paul greets us at once, “Back for more?!” Paul’s a hip twenty-something who also attends school here, paying the tuition entirely from his café profits. Business is booming for this marketing major as usual, so Jaxson and I take a table in the corner and order the grilled cheese special. “Great choice, I’ll get that right away.” Paul smiles, taking the order back to the kitchen. Paul doesn’t actually cook the food, his mom Paula does, but the recipes all are Paul’s. He just likes people and doesn’t want to be locked in a hot kitchen all day.

“I didn’t know you liked photography.” Jaxson says, trying to make small talk as I fiddle with my camera. “Yeah, I used to take pictures all the time, but I hardly ever have the time these days.” I explain, “My mom is a photographer, so it just rubbed off on me. The eyes of a photographer are a unique perspective.”

Jax looked at me. “Are you okay?” he asks. “Yeah.” I assure, lost in space. I blink. “Yeah, I’m fine.” I repeat, “Everything’s alright.”

We finish lunch and I cover the bill like I said I would. “Maybe we should go back to the dorms.” I suggest, and Jaxson is quick to agree, “I wonder if Fee-fee is up yet.”

Back at my dorm room, Fee-fee has gotten dressed up in the dark green dress shirt that really brings out her brown eyes and a pair of khakis. She has her hair pulled back in a ponytail and is fixing her tie, almost ready to leave, when we arrive.

“Hey babies!” she greets when she sees Jax and I, “Take some good pictures? How are you feeling, Lizzy?”

“I’m fine, Fee-fee.” I reply, “You look awfully spiffy this afternoon. Hot date?”

“No!” she replies with a laugh, “I just have to go interview the C.E.O. of Tangent Manufacturing for my article for the paper. Gotta dress the part, you know!”

“Good luck!” Jaxson smiles as she leaves, then turning to me, “What now?”

I look at my watch. It is almost one o’clock. “I don’t know.” I shrug, looking to Jax for suggestions, “Relaxing isn’t exactly my thing.”

Jaxson grins and grabs the TV remote. “Some television never hurt anyone.” he says, sitting me down on the sofa and clicking it on, “Ooh! Prisoner Brains!”

This actually isn’t that bad. It’s nice to sit and chill for a bit. The protagonist of the show is getting falsely accused of murder as I shut my eyes. When I open them; however, I’m alone in a white room with no doors or window. By myself, I hear nothing but his voice chanting, “See the world as the world sees me!” Once again, the man is everywhere, and nowhere at the same time. “No, no, no, no!” I panic, feeling the burning on my hands. They are on fire, no, they are making fire. I scream, but instead of sound, hordes of locust swarm from my mouth and soar around the room. “See the world as the world sees me! Allison Cameron, see it like it sees me! Treat the world as the world treats me!”

I look for a way out of this place. The locusts are everywhere. I can’t breathe, and then out of nowhere comes the man. He smiles as his voice continues to echo through the room. “Who are you?!” I demand to know, “Where am I?!”

“See the world as the world sees me.” he replies as the world around me fades to black. I open my eyes and see Jaxson next to me. “You’re awake.” he smiles, “Ophelia just got back and is making dinner. How do you feel?”

“I feel hungry.” I mutter, “What time is it?” The room smells like meatballs. Fee-fee must be making spaghetti.

“It’s 6:30.” Jax answers as I realize I’m leaning on his shoulder and quickly sit up. “I smell meatballs.” I mention, hearing Fee-fee’s laugh. She is in the kitchen stirring a pot of pasta, her ‘Kiss the Chef’ apron hanging from her neck. “Sunday Spaghetti Night, baby!” she laughs, “Then the three of us can settle down and watch America’s Funny Home Moments.”

“Kay, Fee-fee.” I nod, brushing my hair out of my face with my hand, “Any news while I was down and out?”

“The interview was just peachy.” Fee-fee assures, “Professor Westmont called to check on you too. She mentioned something about– never mind.”

“Fee-fee!” I curse, “You can’t leave me hanging like that!”

“It’s not important.” Jaxson assures, making me get off the offensive, “Like I said, Westmont is very worried about you still.”

I sigh. I guess I can let this one go. “So spaghetti, huh?” I smirk, “Sounds good.”

I find myself in this same room again, only this time, there is a door in front of me. My hands still burn, but I am able to power through the pain to open the door and leave my prison. “Whoa.” I breathe as I examine the world before me. I see the White House, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial. The sky is red with flames of fury and it is in this moment the national icons before me explode into a fiery inferno. The burning in my hands is stronger now, and I realize that it is I who is to blame.

“Allison Cameron.” the man says, appearing from the smoke, “Hear me.”

“I can hear you.” I reply, “Who are you?”

“You soon will know; Jon Hanson will tell.”

“What is happening?”

“You soon will know; Jon Hanson will tell.” he repeats, his words cutting me like a knife.

“Okay.” I say, opening my eyes. “Did you say something, Lizzy?” Fee-fee asks me, coming out of the bathroom wearing a towel around her hair. “No.” I reply, “Did I?”

“Allison, are you feeling well?” Fee-fee inquires, worried.

“Yes, I’m fine.” I assure, looking at my watch, “Fee-fee, it is almost eight, why didn’t you wake me?”

“I was going to,” she confesses, “but you looked so peaceful and I didn’t see how a few extra minutes could hurt. And then, I forgot. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Fee-fee.” I smile, “Professor Westmont won’t mind me being a tad late to class.”

Rolling out of my bed, I grab some clothes and take the bathroom. I get my shower, brush my teeth, and do my make-up as fast as I can. Around 8:30, I snatch a granola bar from Fee-fee’s stash and head to the Eastman Hall for my class at nine. On the way, I run into Jax, who is late as usual.

“Allison?!” he shouts from across the street, running over, “How are you feeling? You’re running late.”

“I slept in.” I admit, “Fee-fee didn’t want to wake me.” Jaxson smiles as he always does and we hurry to class. Professor Westmont is in the middle of lecturing when we enter.

“Allison?” she breathes, remembering there are a hundred other students in the room and returning to a professional tone, “See me after class, Miss Cameron.”

I nod and go to my seat up front. Jax jogs to the back of the room and sits as well. I usually love this class, but today, it is different. It is like everyone is staring at me.

“Because they are.” the man says. He is sitting next to me. The man continues, “They notice your new demeanor, Allison, your demeanor has changed. You feel different because you are different. You see, see the world as the world sees me. See the world as the world sees me!”

“See the world as the world sees me.” I whisper aloud, “See the world, as the world sees me.” “Allison!” Westmont shouts, snapping me out of my trance, “Allison! Do you hear me?!”

“Yes!” I gasp, looking around, “Where did everyone go?”

“They left when class ended, Allison.” Westmont informs, “Are you okay?”

“Yes! I am fine! Why does everyone keep asking me if I am alright?!” I explode, seeing Westmont’s concern, “I’m sorry.”

Westmont nods and looks over at the door as a man walks in. It is Dr. Hanson. “When’s your next class, Janet?” he asks Westmont. “Not until one.” she responds, “You have my full attention.”

“Allison.” Dr. Hanson says to me, “Remember me?” “Yes.” I reply, noticing a bruise across his face, “You are hurt. The man did it.”

Dr. Hanson nods and opens his mouth to speak, but I continue, “What was his name?” “That’s not important.” Westmont speaks up. “Why do you ask?” Dr. Hanson questions me. “I know what you are doing, Dr. Hanson, I’m a psychology major.” I say, “Can we please just talk without you using psychiatric procedures? I just need to know his name.”

“Okay.” Dr. Hanson concedes, “His name was Devin MacIntyre.”

“Devin.” I repeat, “MacIntyre.”

“That’s me!” the man says to me. Dr. Hanson and Westmont are either gone or I can’t notice them. “What is going on?” I ask Dr. Hanson after a blink.

“I was hoping you could tell me.” Dr. Hanson returns, “I hear you have been acting differently lately, and well, so has Devin.”

“Jon!” Westmont chastises, “You said you were going to talk to her! Not talk about Mr. MacIntyre!”

“It’s okay, Professor Westmont.” I defend, “I have respect for the science community, and I know that I can help. That is why I chose to become a psychologist. I want to help. Let me.”

“I started writing a diary.” I tell them both, “It is in my dorm, I have written pretty much everything down in it last night and plan to continue doing so to keep track of, everything.”

Dr. Hanson and Professor Westmont are both listening intently. “I’d be happy to show you it.” I add, “Because, things have been getting pretty terrifying. I have been having dreams.”

“Dreams?” Dr. Hanson clarifies.

“Yes.” I nod, “Give me until Friday to keep record. If it gets too bad, I will tell you immediately and then the decision will be up to you where to go next. I only have one request: when I meet with you Friday, I want to see Devin. He has been in my dreams, and for some reason I know that I can get him out if I can face him again.”

“Very well, Allison.” Dr. Hanson agrees, shaking my hand, “Professor Westmont will give you my number. Call me if you need anything.” Smiling, Dr. Hanson nods to Westmont and then walks away.

“Are you sure, Allison?” she questions hesitantly.

I nod. “Give me the number, everything is under control.”

Jaxson catches up with me after that and stays close until I get back to my dorm. “I trust your judgement.” he nods, opening the door for me, “You couldn’t be top of our class if you didn’t know what you were doing!” Jax smiles and I smile back. “See you later, Jax.” I say, shutting the door behind me. Inside, Fee-fee is making lunch. “Lizzy!” she chirps, “How’s it going, baby?”

“I talked to Dr. Hanson, Fee-fee.” I brief, “I’m going to meet with him Friday. And I am going to meet with Devin MacIntyre while I’m there.”

“Devin MacIntyre?” she inquires, “Who’s that?” “He’s the man who attacked me.” I inform, startling Fee-fee. “ARE YOU INSANE, ALLISON?!” she shrieks, “YOU CAN’T BE SERIOUS IN WANTING TO SEE THAT FREAK!!!”

“Freak?” Devin MacIntyre gasps, offended by my roommate, “Crazy? Maybe. But a freak? We don’t think so!”

“Stop it MacIntyre!” I shout, as my left hand starts to burn, “Stop it!”

“Yes, Fee-fee.” I reply calmly, “I’m serious. Like I told Dr. Hanson, I became a psychology major because I want to help people, and this is my first chance to do that.” I smile at Fee-fee and she sighs. “Okay.” Fee-fee gives in, “I’m going with you though.”

“I can deal with that.” I grin, “There’s far worse company.”

Fee-fee serves me some soup and sits next to me. We eat in silence as I update my diary. Fee-fee is respectful, thankfully, and doesn’t pry.

“So, you and Jaxson.” she states, finishing her soup, “Anything going on?” “Heh.” I answer, putting down my pen, “He’s just a friend, Fee-fee. Plus, I don’t think he’s interested.” “Gee!” she yelps, “How could he not be interested in you?! Baby, you’re a catch!”

“Thank.” I smirk, “You really think so?”

“Totally!” Fee-fee assures me, “Now the question is, do you like him?” “NO!” I exclaim, awkwardly laughing it off, “He’s not my type.”

“Oh, really?” Fee-fee teases, “So you are not attracted to him at all? Because I sense something.” “Of course you would.” I snicker, giving her a nudge as she passed me by, “He is just a concerned friend. Just like you.” “Heh.” she replies, “Yeah, just like me.”

I go to my next class, History of Psychology, and walk into the room. It is like all eyes are on me. I have the slight urge to scream, but I resist. My hands start to burn, and I look down. Luckily, it’s nothing visible; I feel like I already stand out too much.

Quickly taking my seat, I open my notebook and try to focus. Devin MacIntyre doesn’t matter right now. What matters is this list of famous psychologists and what they did. Today’s the test, and Professor Lauren isn’t one to go easy on you. Being the only other psychology professor, he works really closely with Professor Westmont, but sadly, she hasn’t rubbed off on him.

“Class.” he barks at exactly 3:00, “Your test begins now. You have an hour.” The students all launch from their seats and snatch the test from the table in the front of the room as Professor Lauren looks on.

I return to my seat and look at the paper with the same dismay that I hear from the sighs of my classmates. HALF OF THE NAMES WEREN’T EVEN TALKED ABOUT IN CLASS!!! THEY AREN’T EVEN IN THE BOOK!!! I know, I’ve read it cover to cover.

“That’s right, Allison Cameron.” MacIntyre laughs as I look over at him, “Get mad! Get angry! See the world as the world sees me!”

“Focus Allison!” I hiss to myself, earning a scolding look from Professor Lauren. I look at the page and quickly fill in the ones I could. All the while, I know Devin MacIntyre is sitting three seats away. He is laughing hysterically. I growl.

“Miss Cameron!” Professor Lauren screams, “Silence while I am reading!”

I honestly can’t believe this man. He gets tenure, and then doesn’t even teach! He’s gotten hundreds of complaints, but for some reason the Dean either doesn’t know or doesn’t care. He gets on my nerves! I groan.

“I said silence!” he shouts again. I just roll my eyes and randomly fill out the rest of the answers. When I’m done, I march up to his desk, slap the test in front of him and say, “This isn’t the end of this, Professor.” As I leave, I hear the sounds of several of my classmates clapping, but Professor Lauren quickly quiets them with a harsh “SHH!!!”

My next class is Experimental Psychology. Lucky for me, Westmont teaches it. I walk in at 4:18 and sit in my seat. I had left Devin MacIntyre with Professor Lauren, so hopefully this class goes better than my last one did.

“How are we today, Miss Cameron?” Professor Westmont asks me when she sees me. “Better, I believe, Professor.” I smile, easing her tensions, “What are we learning today?”

“We are reviewing the steps in a successful psychology experiment.” she informs the class, “Then each of you will be creating your own experiment. A simple one-page report is due Wednesday so by Friday you’ll be approved to perform the experiment. The study will last four months minimum with a minimum sample size of 100-300, unless you are doing an individual study, then email me your proposal tonight.”

“Individual study, you say?” Devin MacIntyre laughs, “How about you study me? Of course she’d approve that!”

I smile my clearly fake smile as Westmont continues and Devin laughs. At the end of class, she hands out a packet regarding the project to everyone but me. She must want to see me.

As the others leave, I walk up to my professor and ask for the packet. “If you want,” she begins, “you can skip this project to focus on your current situation.”

I nod. “Thank you, Professor.” I smirk, “Oh, and for the record, Professor Lauren gave the class a very unfair test today. I suggest you look into the grades when he’s finished, because there is a very good chance that the majority of the class failed.”

It was now Westmont’s turn to nod. “I will see to it that if Professor Lauren is being unfair, he gets investigated by a committee.” she smiles. Westmont’s father is the Dean, so she can actually get through to him.

Soon I am off again, heading back to my dorm. “See the world as the world sees me” is still echoing through my head. Devin MacIntyre has to be close.

I stroll along at a constant speed, not really watching where I’m going. “Allison Cameron, look at you!” Devin’s gruff voice rings out as he walks alongside me, “A young woman with a purpose: so nice to see in today’s society.”

“Why are you following me?” I ask, walking faster, “Why am I so important to you?”

“These questions will all be answered soon enough.” he replies, “Too bad by then it’ll be too late!”

“What?!” I gasp as I collide with another student and fall on my butt, “I am so sorry! Jaxson?” “No problem, Allison.” he reassures, helping me up, “Zoned out I presume?”

“Yeah a little.”

“How are you doing?”

“Fine.”

“Good.”

“Good!”

I look at my watch. It is almost five. “Jax?” I ask, “What are you doing for dinner?” “Not much.” he replies with a grin, “Maybe a side salad?”

I grin and shake my head. “That doesn’t sound too appetizing.” I say, thinking it over, “Would you like to come back to my dorm for some Monday-Night Macaroni? Fee-fee always makes too much, so one more would be a blessing. Consider it a thank you for all you’ve done these past few days, and an apology for knocking into you like a New Yorker.”

“Sounds good.” he smiles, “I just need to stop by my dorm first to drop off this stuff and grab a protein shake. You kay?”

I nod and follow him to his dorm across the streets. We walk inside and go upstairs to his room. In all honesty, I don’t know what I was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Jaxson opens the door and invites me in. His room is similar to mine, except for the deco of course.

On the side that I presume to be his is an easel and canvas. His walls are covered with artwork similar to the one in progress and his bed is neatly made with light blue sheets. And I thought I was organized! This kid has a filing cabinet! “Wow.” I gape, “Impressive.”

Jax just smiles as he reaches in his mini fridge, takes out one of many strawberry protein shakes, and sets his bag on his bed. “Okay, I’m ready.” he tells me, “After you!”

Back at the dorm, Fee-fee isn’t surprised to see Jax with me. “Of course we have enough, baby!” she assures me with a wink, “We always have enough for one more.” I sit on the sofa with Jaxson as Fee-fee stirs the large kettle of macaroni on the stove and starts to hum the theme song of her favorite TV show.

“Smells good.” Jaxson compliments Fee-fee, who rolls her eyes jokingly in response, “And I’m not just saying that either, it really does!”

“Do I sense some jealousy?!” MacIntyre hisses into my ear. “No.” I respond, blinking to find myself in that nightmarish world again. The national icons have been completely burned by now, but their flaming shadows still stand tall. A fiery ball explodes above, and I walk over to Devin.

“Tell me, Devin MacIntyre, what did you do to me on Saturday?” I interrogate, “What is happening?”

Devin doesn’t respond, but I know what he would say if he did. “See the world as the world sees me.” I huff, “What does that mean?!” My hands are on fire now, and the flames are spreading up my forearms. “TELL ME!!!” I scream, fire streaming from my hands, blasting away my antagonist, “What is happening?!”

“Jon Hanson knows, so you’ll wait and see!” he echoes, “By then, I’ll be gone and it will be too late!”

“Don’t you think so, Lizzy?” Fee-fee asks. “What will be too late?” I wonder, confusing my two friends. “She asked if you think her macaroni and cheese is the best in town.” Jax informs.

“Of course!” I smile, sounding extremely fake, “Yes, I love it. It is so great.” I’m not lying. My roommate’s cooking is the bomb! I couldn’t ask for better, but right now I am a bit preoccupied.

“Well,” Fee-fee pivots, “I guess it’s time to let Jaxson decide for himself. It’s suppertime babies!”

Jaxson and I get our plates and take a fair share of the dish, and Fee-fee zooms in for the rest. We sit at the table and chow down. “Whoa!” Jax exclaims after the first bite, “This is the best macaroni and cheese I have ever had!”

“He’s a keeper!” Fee-fee taunts, taking another bite. Right now, I want to make like an ostrich and shove my head in the sand because I am ninety-percent sure that I am blushing badly. I shoot Fee-fee a shut-the-heck-up look and smile at Jax. “She’s joking.” I chuckle, “Heh.”

Jax left at eight and I immediately scold Fee-fee for the act. “Don’t put me in those types of situations!” I chastise, “I am not looking for that kind of relationship, so please don’t make Jax think I like him, because I don’t!”

“Okay!” Fee-fee defends herself, “I apologize! I get it! I know what it feels like to be wanted when you don’t want to date. I mean, look at all this!” Fee-fee motions to herself with the flick of her wrists and does a cutesy little pose, making me laugh. “What am I going to do with you?!” I giggle, warranting a wink from Fee-fee, “Heh, who am I kidding? What would I do without you?!” 

For the third night in a row, I find myself in that room. I leave as usual, and look around at the sinister capital city around me. Buildings burn, the sky is on fire, and the flames fueled by my hands and forearms rage on. I start to shake as a school bus races by and crashes into a tree, spewing smoke from under the hood soon after impact.

“DEVIN MACINTYRE!!!” I scream, “SHOW YOURSELF!!!”

“Is there a problem, hun?” I hear as my attacker throws me onto the ground. My eyes open and I look up at Fee-fee, toweled again this morning.

“Hey.” I smirk, trying to act natural, “How you doin’?”

Fee-fee giggles, “Stop it! Just get up off the ground!”

I stand up and look around. I must’ve fallen out of bed last night. “You look nice.” I compliment, prompting Fee-fee to roll her eyes, “I had a good night in case you’re wondering!”

“Just get ready,” Fee-fee orders, removing the towel from her hair, “we have to be ready to leave for statistics by 9:30. You have an hour, baby.”

I do my regular morning routine and am in the shower when I hear the voice, making me quicken my pace. “See the world as the world sees me!” it chants, “Treat the world like the world treats me!” I brush my teeth and briefly glance at the razor on the counter before getting dressed and heading out. As soon as I see Fee-fee, I give her a hug. Her comforting arms make me forget, for a moment, all my troubles. “Thanks for that.” I sigh, pulling away. “Allison, just remember,” Fee-fee begins as I grab my stuff, “You always have me.”

“I know, Fee-fee,” I smile as we head out, “and that’s why I love you.”

We arrive at the Jefferson building and go into the lecture hall. Inside, our class of fifty waited impatiently for Professor Latchford. “Wait a minute!” I yelp, squinting my eyes, “Jaxson?! I didn’t know you were in this class!”

Fee-fee and I make our way to the back of the class where Jax had been talking to some guy whose name I don’t recall. “Hey Allison!” he says to me with a grin, “Yeah, I just transferred into this class for the extra credit. I had no idea you were in it too!”

Fee-fee nudges me and I return with a firm yet discreet scowl. “Well,” I falter, “Do you mind if we join you up here? Our normal seats are taken today.”

“No, of course you can join me!” he assures us, scooching over towards the guy to make room. Fee-fee smacks her lips as I sit next to him and Professor Latchford strolls in. “Shall we begin?” he asks us rhetorically, “So we shall.”

“Don’t you just love Statistics?!” MacIntyre’s voice rings through my head, “Or are you focusing on a much less scientific thing?!” I look around as I return to Devin’s world of chaos. I walk down the street, studying the surroundings as the chants of Devin thunder above in the burning sky. I make my way to the steps of a building that resembles my dormitory. Screams ring through campus, and I turn to see Fee-fee and Jaxson running across the front lawn together. Lightning crashes, and before I can do anything, they are dead.

With the blink of my eyes, I am back in Statistics with Jaxson and Fee-fee on either side of me. I sigh, thankful they are okay.

Statistics flies by, and soon we are all leaving the room. “Wanna grab some lunch?” Fee-fee offers, nodding to the café, “I’ll pay.” “Sounds great!” Jax agrees, looking down at me. Nodding, I approve, “I could go for a chicken tomato basil panini.”

The three of us walk into Paul’s and sit at an empty table next to Westmont and Dr. Hanson, who appear to be having a serious conversation in between bites. “Allison!” Dr. Hanson calls to me, standing up and walking over to our table, “How have you been doing?”

“Just peachy.” I fib, though I am sure he knows, “Don’t worry, I’ll have every detail written down when I see you on Friday.”

“About that.” Dr. Hanson falters, “I’m going to have to move up our meeting to this afternoon. Can you be to the institute at three?” “I don’t know.” I hesitate, looking at Westmont, “What happened to Friday?”

“Devin is acting strange.” Dr. Hanson confesses, glancing around, “His heartbeat is irregular, and he hasn’t spoken since you were there. We think he may be dying, and you are our best shot at saving him.”

“I’ll be there at 2:45.” I agree without consulting anyone, “See you then.”

I finish my lunch and hurry off, Fee-fee and Jaxson close behind. “What about your cognitive psych class at one o’clock?” Fee-fee protests, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”

“Ophelia.” I state firmly as we walk up the pathway to the dorms, “I might be able to save a life. I have to do this whether it is a good idea or not.”

“But Lizzy!” she continues as I reach for the door handle to our dorm, realizing it’s gone. “That’s strange.” Jax says as I pull the door open, “It looks like someone broke in.”

We go inside and head up through the dimly lit halls. At my room, we stop in our tracks. The door is open.

“I’m calling campus security.” Fee-fee states, pulling out her phone as I go inside, “Lizzy?! What are you doing?!”

Inside the room, I am horrified. Someone had ransacked the place. “OMG!” Jax gasps, coming inside, “Fee-fee! Come look!”

“KATE!!!” Fee-fee screams, running over to a poster of her favorite comedian that was torn from the wall, “It’s okay, baby, Mama’s here now.”

“Oh no.” I freak, running over to my dresser. My diary is gone. “No!” I shout, looking around, “Aha!” I bend down and pick the book up from the ground. “It’s all good.”

“Who could’ve done this?” Jax wonders, “And in the middle of the day!” “Campus security is sending down some people.” Fee-fee informs us, stroking the ripped poster, “It’s gonna be okay, Kate. We’re gonna find out who did this.”

Campus security is quick to respond and are full-on investigating by 2:20. I look at my watch and grab my diary. “I got to get to the institute.” I say, “Do you still want to come, or can you stick behind with campus security?”

Fee-fee looks at Jax and Jax nods. “I’ll drive.” he volunteers, “Let’s go.”

Dr. Hanson is waiting for us in his office when we arrive and a tech takes us to him. “Good,” he says with a solemn look, “you’re here.” I take a seat and place my diary on the desk. “There you go.” I declare, “Any questions before I see Devin?”

“About that,” Dr. Hanson falters, looking at his files, “Devin is no longer with us.”

“Excuse me?” I gasp, “Did he pass away?”

“No.” Dr. Hanson replies, “Well, not that we know of.”

“Dr. Hanson, tell me what’s going on.” I order, snatching back my diary and standing up, “Where is Devin MacIntyre?!”

“We don’t know.” he answers, standing slowly, “He escaped while I was away. One of our, quite possibly most unstable, patients is somewhere out there. It was reported he was chanting your name, Allison, when he knocked out the tech and jumped out the window.”

“Do you think he’s after me?” I question, “Dr. Hanson, my dorm was broken into right before I left. Fee-fee stayed back with campus security so I could come talk to you!” A look of panic flashes over Dr. Hanson’s face as he picks up his phone and dials a number. “Send somebody to the university campus immediately and tell them to issue a lockdown.” he orders, turning to Jax and I, “You two are to stay right here until we know Devin is detained. Understand?”

“But Fee-fee!” I protest as Dr. Hanson leaves, “Come on, Jax. We can’t leave her there!”

“I agree.” Jax says to me, catching the door as Dr. Hanson leaves, “Let’s go.”

“I’m sorry, Allison, but we want you to be safe. If you go back, you could be putting yourself in great danger.” Dr. Hanson argues as we march by him, “Allison! Get back here or I will have my techs restrain you!”

Jax and I walk out of the institute and get in the car as Dr. Hanson runs after us. I hear my phone ring and answer it. “Hello?” I say. It’s Fee-fee.

“Campus security said everything is okay; it looks like some prankster got the better of us.” she tells me. “Fee-fee, get inside and lock the doors.” I urge, “We are on our way back. Devin has escaped and I think he was the one who ransacked our room.”

“Oh. Okay.” she mutters nervously, “See you soon.”

We make it to campus before the lockdown and run to my dormitory. “Fee-fee?!” I call out, knocking on the doors as sirens are heard, “We’re here!”

Fee-fee opens the door and pulls us inside, locking the door behind her. “Why did you come back?!” she scolds, propping a chair up against the knob, “He could attack you again!”

“Fee-fee, we don’t know if he is here.” I comfort, placing my hand on her shoulder, “This is all just precautionary.”

Fee-fee nods and I turn to go to my side of the room, but once again I find myself in the room of my nightmares instead. I walk outside and observe the scenery that has now become more familiar to me than that of my own world. The flames are fading now, and despite starting to feel as if it has been years since I last came here, I manage to find my way to the bus crash. I look down at the ground and see the lifeless bodies of two of the people I love most in the world and sigh. It is a shame.

“Devin?” I call, looking up as I sense his presence, “What’s your plan here? I already met with Jon Hanson, so spill the beans.”

“As much as I would love to help a fellow visionary, I’m going to have to decline your request for information.” Devin MacIntyre says to me, walking by, “Allison, you are a scientist at heart. You of all people should know how important it is that the test subject doesn’t know they are being tested on!”

“No!” I shout back, “I’m not taking that as an answer!”

Devin stops in his tracks and whirls around. His nostrils are flared and his face is a deep shade of red. I have no time to defend myself with what he shoves me into a wall, clutching my throat so that I can barely breathe. “Allison Cameron!” he screams at me, “I am a figment of your imagination, you fool! If you want to know the truth, you need to ask the real me!”

MacIntyre squeezes my throat and the world around me blurs to grey. I can’t breathe and I begin to go numb. And then everything is black.

I sit up in bed and look around, gasping for air. Fee-fee and Jax are both asleep in the other bed and sofa respectively. The clock on my nightstand reads 2:14 A.M. Getting out of bed, I put on some slippers and walk into the kitchen for a drink. I do not know how long my last delusion went on, or whether or not I was responsive. Pouring myself a glass of milk, all I know is that I need to find Devin MacIntyre.

I finish my drink, go in the bathroom, and look on the counter. The razor blade is gone, but I know where to find more. First checking the doorway, I open the cupboard and snatch a blade. I don’t know what I’m doing, or why I have it, but I shove it in the pocket of my sweatshirt and leave the bathroom. Quietly, I remove the chair from the hall door and unlock it with a click. I freeze momentarily, hearing some shuffling behind me, but it is just Fee-fee rolling in her sleep. “See you later.” I whisper silently, opening the door and walking out of the room, “Hopefully.”

The halls are silent as I walk through on my way to leave the dormitory. I know Devin isn’t here, so I go outside into the below-zero weather, shivering as I walk down the street. “Where are you?” I ask aloud, with no response. Down the street further, I look to the side and smile. I break into a jog and run down the side path and go into the woods. “Devin!” I call out, “Devin MacIntyre!”

A branch snaps. Snow falls from the trees. He is near. “Devin MacIntyre!” I repeat, “I want to talk with you!” I hear a cough from behind and whirl around to face the real Devin MacIntyre.

“Allison Cameron.” he grins, hobbling near me, “Do you see the world as the world sees me?”

“Yes.” I answer, “Why did you choose me?” Devin frowns. “Allison. Cameron.” he snaps, “Do you treat the world as the world treats me?”

“I don’t know what you mean by that.” I admit, angering MacIntyre, “Can you please tell me what is happening?”

“You will!” he shouts, grabbing my wrist, “You will!” I scream as he grabs the razor blade from my pocket and draws it close to my flesh. “YOU WILL!!!” he roars, slitting my wrist with the blade, “YOU WILL!!!”

The cut blazes like fire immediately, and for a moment, I do nothing. But then he slices my other wrist and throws me to the snowy ground. My hands are burning, my forearms on fire with pain. I cry, barely managing to get to my feet as the blood drips down from my wounds. “I don’t care what you do to me, Devin!” I shout, and he is taken aback, “Now tell me, MacIntyre, what are you up to? Why are you doing this to me?!”

Devin shakes his head and pounces at me, but this time I am ready. I hold up my fiery hands and shove back as soon as his chest meets my palms, sending him flying backwards. Now, I run.

Back into campus with a full sprint, I dash to my dormitory, hearing Devin’s footsteps quickly gaining ground on me. My wrists are bleeding more as I run, the pain raging on like flames of a brushfire.

“SEE THE WORLD AS THE WORLD SEES ME!!!” Devin roars, grabbing my sweatshirt and yanking me to the ground. I scream for help, but no one comes. I know Devin will kill me now. Thoughts of life after death race through my mind as a bright light flashes over us. I pull away just as the bus rumbles off the road and smashes into Jax’s dormitory. Devin is still on the ground, this is my chance to escape.

The emergency sirens are ringing again as I race down the street and over the hill. “ALLISON!!!” I hear from a worried voice. It is Fee-fee and Jax is with her. “What are you doing out here?!” I demand to know, running over to them.

“OMG are you okay?!” Jax asks as Fee-fee shrieks, “Baby, you’re bleeding!”

“Guys, Devin is coming.” I remember as he strides down the path towards us, “Run!”

I don’t know whether it was Fee-fee or Jax, but as we dart away, someone kicks their leg in front of my foot and I fall face first onto the rough concrete. Several gunshots echo like lightning through the night as my face slides across the pavement. I start crying, not because of the pain, but because I know what has happened. Sure enough, I look to my right and see Jax’s body. “Jax!” I cry out, glancing to the other side, “Fee-fee!” The tears pour down my face as a strong hand lifts me up by my arm. “IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!” I scream at him, “DEVIN! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!”

Devin stares into my eyes, but I do not see him. My world is blurred by the tears streaming down my bloodied cheeks. Campus security runs over now to see if they got their target, but they are terrible aims. Their target has me.

“I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NOW!” I bawl, “PLEASE, KILL ME DEVIN! PLEASE!”

“You already have died, Allison.” Devin says after some time, dropping me back onto the ground as a campus security guard yells to us, “You will never be the same.”

I see red. The razor blade is on the ground. Devin had dropped it when he grabbed me. Something comes over me and before I can stop myself, I have Devin MacIntyre’s throat in my bloody hands and he dies with a quick, effortless squeeze.

“Ma’am!” the guard shouts at me, “Please put down the weapon, ma’am!” I look in my hand as Devin falls on top of Jax and Fee-fee. A smile comes to my face as the guard approaches me. “We are sorry.” he begins to say before I cut him off, “Sorry?! That’s all you have to say!”

I hear the guard’s scream of pain as I slit his throat. The other guards hold up their guns now as I push their comrade back and he flops onto the red road. “You hold up your guns like you are going to shoot me.” I say, walking closer before I realize that they are police officers, not campus security, “What do you possibly think you can achieve by threatening me with a good time?! Please! I beg you! Shoot! Do it! You know I’m not innocent; I just killed two men! Go on now! End me! It’s not murder! I am already dead! I died when I looked into the eyes of Devin MacIntyre!”

I jump forward, the triggers are pulled, and the bullets fly. One hits me in the chest, another goes in my shoulder, and the third enters my stomach. “Thank you.” I whisper, dropping to my knees. I look around for one last moment, and just as I had always imagined death would happen, everything goes black.