January 18, 2017

I sit up in bed and look around, gasping for air. Fee-fee and Jax are both asleep in the other bed and sofa respectively. The clock on my nightstand reads 2:14 A.M. Getting out of bed, I put on some slippers and walk into the kitchen for a drink. I do not know how long my last delusion went on, or whether or not I was responsive. Pouring myself a glass of milk, all I know is that I need to find Devin MacIntyre.

I finish my drink, go in the bathroom, and look on the counter. The razor blade is gone, but I know where to find more. First checking the doorway, I open the cupboard and snatch a blade. I don’t know what I’m doing, or why I have it, but I shove it in the pocket of my sweatshirt and leave the bathroom. Quietly, I remove the chair from the hall door and unlock it with a click. I freeze momentarily, hearing some shuffling behind me, but it is just Fee-fee rolling in her sleep. “See you later.” I whisper silently, opening the door and walking out of the room, “Hopefully.”

The halls are silent as I walk through on my way to leave the dormitory. I know Devin isn’t here, so I go outside into the below-zero weather, shivering as I walk down the street. “Where are you?” I ask aloud, with no response. Down the street further, I look to the side and smile. I break into a jog and run down the side path and go into the woods. “Devin!” I call out, “Devin MacIntyre!”

A branch snaps. Snow falls from the trees. He is near. “Devin MacIntyre!” I repeat, “I want to talk with you!” I hear a cough from behind and whirl around to face the real Devin MacIntyre.

“Allison Cameron.” he grins, hobbling near me, “Do you see the world as the world sees me?”

“Yes.” I answer, “Why did you choose me?” Devin frowns. “Allison. Cameron.” he snaps, “Do you treat the world as the world treats me?”

“I don’t know what you mean by that.” I admit, angering MacIntyre, “Can you please tell me what is happening?”

“You will!” he shouts, grabbing my wrist, “You will!” I scream as he grabs the razor blade from my pocket and draws it close to my flesh. “YOU WILL!!!” he roars, slitting my wrist with the blade, “YOU WILL!!!”

The cut blazes like fire immediately, and for a moment, I do nothing. But then he slices my other wrist and throws me to the snowy ground. My hands are burning, my forearms on fire with pain. I cry, barely managing to get to my feet as the blood drips down from my wounds. “I don’t care what you do to me, Devin!” I shout, and he is taken aback, “Now tell me, MacIntyre, what are you up to? Why are you doing this to me?!”

Devin shakes his head and pounces at me, but this time I am ready. I hold up my fiery hands and shove back as soon as his chest meets my palms, sending him flying backwards. Now, I run.

Back into campus with a full sprint, I dash to my dormitory, hearing Devin’s footsteps quickly gaining ground on me. My wrists are bleeding more as I run, the pain raging on like flames of a brushfire.

“SEE THE WORLD AS THE WORLD SEES ME!!!” Devin roars, grabbing my sweatshirt and yanking me to the ground. I scream for help, but no one comes. I know Devin will kill me now. Thoughts of life after death race through my mind as a bright light flashes over us. I pull away just as the bus rumbles off the road and smashes into Jax’s dormitory. Devin is still on the ground, this is my chance to escape.

The emergency sirens are ringing again as I race down the street and over the hill. “ALLISON!!!” I hear from a worried voice. It is Fee-fee and Jax is with her. “What are you doing out here?!” I demand to know, running over to them.

“OMG are you okay?!” Jax asks as Fee-fee shrieks, “Baby, you’re bleeding!”

“Guys, Devin is coming.” I remember as he strides down the path towards us, “Run!”

I don’t know whether it was Fee-fee or Jax, but as we dart away, someone kicks their leg in front of my foot and I fall face first onto the rough concrete. Several gunshots echo like lightning through the night as my face slides across the pavement. I start crying, not because of the pain, but because I know what has happened. Sure enough, I look to my right and see Jax’s body. “Jax!” I cry out, glancing to the other side, “Fee-fee!” The tears pour down my face as a strong hand lifts me up by my arm. “IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!” I scream at him, “DEVIN! IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED?!”

Devin stares into my eyes, but I do not see him. My world is blurred by the tears streaming down my bloodied cheeks. Campus security runs over now to see if they got their target, but they are terrible aims. Their target has me.

“I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NOW!” I bawl, “PLEASE, KILL ME DEVIN! PLEASE!”

“You already have died, Allison.” Devin says after some time, dropping me back onto the ground as a campus security guard yells to us, “You will never be the same.”

I see red. The razor blade is on the ground. Devin had dropped it when he grabbed me. Something comes over me and before I can stop myself, I have Devin MacIntyre’s throat in my bloody hands and he dies with a quick, effortless squeeze.

“Ma’am!” the guard shouts at me, “Please put down the weapon, ma’am!” I look in my hand as Devin falls on top of Jax and Fee-fee. A smile comes to my face as the guard approaches me. “We are sorry.” he begins to say before I cut him off, “Sorry?! That’s all you have to say!”

I hear the guard’s scream of pain as I slit his throat. The other guards hold up their guns now as I push their comrade back and he flops onto the red road. “You hold up your guns like you are going to shoot me.” I say, walking closer before I realize that they are police officers, not campus security, “What do you possibly think you can achieve by threatening me with a good time?! Please! I beg you! Shoot! Do it! You know I’m not innocent; I just killed two men! Go on now! End me! It’s not murder! I am already dead! I died when I looked into the eyes of Devin MacIntyre!”

I jump forward, the triggers are pulled, and the bullets fly. One hits me in the chest, another goes in my shoulder, and the third enters my stomach. “Thank you.” I whisper, dropping to my knees. I look around for one last moment, and just as I had always imagined death would happen, everything goes black.