The secret of Rain

Since it’s Sunday and it’s stopped raining, I think I’ll take a bouquet of roses to my grave. My name is Rain, i’m timid, frightful and small. I have ginger, oily hair pulled back to reveal a thin, lively face. Hollow green eyes smooth skin elegantly compliments my eyes and cheekbones. I died two years ago on my 17th birthday. I was walking to school one day and i got shot three times in the chest by a drug lord who was trying to shoot someone behind me. I don't blame him though.

Three years ago i was in school, it was a difficult time for me, everyday at lunch i sat with a group of friends. I hardly considered them friends because i never saw them after school and i never got any moral or emotional help from any of them. If they would have wanted me in there life they would have put me there, i shouldn't be expected to fight for a spot. I went to see the counselor after school on fridays because i’m extremely sensitive and she told me i need to work on my mental health. I told her that i felt like i was alone even in a crowd, ever since my bestfriend died, i never reach out to people if it's not mutual, i don't have friends because of that and she just said to take some pills. I took them for about a week and then i stopped because it was not helping my condition it was making me feel dizzy.

I told one person about how i felt and he just said that it would pass, it's not a big deal, that other people have it worse than i do and that i should be grateful for what i have. That just made me feel horrible , i do realize that some people have it worse than me and that i am very fortunate to have what i have. But none the less what he said to me was bad it was like he said that i shouldn't be happy because they have it better than me. I felt alone even in a group but if someone looked in on my life they would have said i had the perfect one, except for my best friend dieing. I have two parents who love me, we are middle class and i have some acquaintances.

Some months passed and still no luck, i was biking home from school one day and i got lost. I ended up finding a book with strange writing on it i tried to show it to my mother and father but they said that it was empty. That all the pages were blank, but i could see writing on them so i started reading it and i found out that it was a demon summoning book. It had stories of being strong and having faith in yourself it helped me to some extent. I never told anyone about my discovery, it was just my little secret. One night i decided to try it out, i bought some candles and chalk to draw a circle.

It didn't seem like it worked so i put salt around the circle and around my bed just incase and i fell asleep. The next morning i had a giant pink furry devil in my room. It had long pink fur and two big horns, two small horns and giant white claws. I put my head down so my hair could cover my eyes and asked timidly “Hi, my name is Rain what do i call you?”. The pink devil yelled “I’m a shapeshifter and the King of Hell but my contracts call me lucy. State what you wish for but in return i need your soul”. I was caught off guard when it spoke to me i had just thought that it could only speak one language, latin. I responded in a shy manner i whispered “ I-I know the price, my wish is to have a b-best f-friend.”. Lucy yelled back “ I can barely hear you, Is that all you wish for ?” i quietly responded “Y-Yes, i do not wish to anger you”, i was shaking in fear.

Lucy and i played games together about what he could turn into. He could shift into anything i could imagine, though he could not change the fact that he had four horns and pink fur. I told him to turn into a boy and still he had horns and pink hair but his small horns were not visible under his fluorescent pink hair.

Throughout the next few months i grew attached to him, i had no feelings of loneliness, i was always happy in his presence. I was getting better until i remembered things about Tryggr, my best friend who died not long ago, things that tore me apart.some people think it's the bad memories that make us sad but no it's also the happy ones because we know that they will never happen again. I spent nights crying, my back rested on the wall. I had a really hard time expressing myself because in the past no one would listen to me or i couldn't trust them. There is something in me, i can't define but it hurts all the time.

At school it was hard not to run out of class and get out of there. Some days i spent crying in the bathroom stall, on the floor, thinking about the promises she was not able to give me. The thing that got me back up was Lucy he would curl up with me on the floor and let me braid his fur. He would growl because he didn't like it but i knew secretly he did. He would grab me to stop me from flailing and hurting myself on the walls. He whispered thing in my ear “ Look at some point you have to stop being so angry, you have to stop being so sad and you have to stop killing yourself and try to be gentle with yourself. At some point you have to let it all be happy, you have to spread love instead of being afraid of it. you have to love yourself and everything around you before it is too late. Don't waste time over trivial things.”.

We got super close and i thought it was just because it was my wish. One afternoon we were sitting under a tree, he took on the form of a cat the only thing that he could not change about himself was his color so he remained pink sometimes people would approach me just to say that my cat looks weird or something judgmental. He looked so unhappy, i asked him if he was alright and he blurted out “You're going to die in a few months, you are going to get shot.”. I was astonished of what he had told me i murmured back “why are you telling me this?” he told me “you are the only mortal i got attached to, i never knew someone as nice as you, everyone treats me bad and orders me around because i’m a devil but i rarely find someone to be nice to me for a change.”. I felt really special i had no idea how much i impacted him especially since he is the devil and all i was was a contract.

As the months passed he started having more and more pain in his voice when he spoke to me. Soon the time came for me to die he said that there was nothing i could do to stop it or else he would have. I told him that i was afraid and that i did not want to die . “Promise me that you will be there with me when it happens”, i was shot noone could help me now i was so afraid. I was feeling so tired and cold, i coughed up blood “hold on to me please you are all i have” he looked scared for me and even though i was panicking and in the most pain i have ever felt i told him “don't be afraid”.

I woke up in a strange place it was warm with blue fire, pink grass and yellow clouds. Things that looked like monsters flew everywhere, i felt so tiny in this big world. Suddenly this huge monster with sharp teeth and hands that could crush me in an instant, approached me. The thing looked like half lion half dragon and it said to me “ get on me, NOW CHILD!!” i was trembling with fear. It felt like we flew for hours but i could still see the place where i woke up. Below there were giant spiders with monsters even scarier riding them, it was like i was the only person there. When we finally landed i looked up while everyone was bowing. There was a great throne with many steps and the chair was lined with pink fur and fire.

It was lucy he was talking to some other demon and i was crying out of fear but when i saw him i was better. I ran as fast as i could up the stairs to him, i hugged him from behind, his pink fur caressing my face. He yelled out in a fierce voice “UNHAND ME YOU BEAST !!!” i let go of him and he turned around in a rage ready to kill. When he saw me his pupils dilated and he said “ i knew it “ under his voice. lucy grabbed me and held me so tight, i had so many questions running through my mind. i asked him how it was possible and he told me he bent the rules a bit to get me there he said that because i sold my soul to him that he owned me but what most demons do is eat their contract but he decided to keep me. I became second in command in his army i just stood by him to scared to leave because of the nightmares around me. I could command anyone or anything to do whatever i wanted… but i never did.

I have my own room down here, last month i figured out how to go back to the human world. I have said bye to my family and that i can't visit them again because of the rules. If i walk around unnoticed i'm allowed back up so today i'm taking roses to my grave. I tell you this story because sometimes you meet someone and it's so clear to the two of you that on some level you belong together. As lovers or as friends or as family or maybe as something entirely different. you just work whether you understand each other or in love or partners in crime. you meet people out of nowhere or the strangest situations and they help you feel alive. I don't know if that makes me believe in coincidence fate or just blind luck but it definitely makes me believe in something.