My vice; loving too hard.

When I was 18 I fell in love 

With the kind of man 

I always thought I'd marry 

Dirty blonde hair 

Broad shoulders, 

Dimples to melt a mothers heart, 

And handy in the garage,

Covered in oil, grease and sweat. 

In every way, 

He was perfect for me. 

We really had it going for us. 

Yet just as quickly as the spark ignited the flame, the world burnt down around us, our love was a casualty. 

Then I met you. 

The kind of man I knew wouldn't be around long enough to cause me any trouble, 

The kind of man I knew would be dangerous if I ever began to love him, 

And suddenly, 

I was drowning. 

I had everything I needed with you by my side, you were the cure to all my sleepless nights, and the voice on the other end of the phone talking me through every anxiety attack. 

I loved you so damn hard. 

And you let me go. 

Even in my writing 

Jonah was always a calculated and measured rhyme with syllables counted meticulously 

And you, Kane, are a tornado sweeping through my mind and ripping the floorboards out of my heart, creating the most beautiful destruction as I'm spat out from the eye of your storm, patiently waiting for you to settle. 

I can't write about you. 

But I will. 

And maybe one day when your storm stops spinning, you'll take the time to piece together each page of the manuscript of us, to realize what a beautiful natural disaster we really are.

Were.