fight back

 A couple of months ago, I wasn’t happy but I was trying to be. So when my friend asked if I wanted to go shopping, I said yes. We hung out all day and talked about absolutely nothing and had some good pasta. We went into one of the stores and noticed a linkin’ park t-shirt; my friend being the absolute fangirl, bought it. That’s how I remember linkin’ park. I don’t know linkin’ park’s music or the band members but I know that day. I was happy then. I had a good day. That’s how I remember linkin’ park. I remember them happy.

Chester Bennington died today and is survived by his six children, wife and millions of fans. I don’t know what it means to you but I know what it means to me. It means that having money won’t make you happy so stop looking for happiness in things that are purely materialistic. It means life hurts, so, so much. Chester Bennington was a survivor and he fought as long as he could, as much as he could take. And it’s inspiring. There’ll be cunts like Piers Morgan who’ll tell people to ‘man up’ because he’s never felt empathy in his entire life but there’ll be people who want to help you, who think you deserve to get better. Keep these people close.

I can’t stop crying, I can’t. I don’t know if it’s grief, an epiphany or just plain old sadness. I’m unhappy, miserable and choked. But I’m trying so hard. I want to live, I do and I know when it feels like your life is falling apart, you’re all alone and worthless, it gets better. With effort and with hope and with people who care about you. It’s not just empathy, it’s sympathy too. It’s just caring enough. If you’re in pain, speak up about it. If you’re in an unsafe environment, talk to someone who might understand and surround yourself with positivity. Dress up, look pretty, feel pretty. Do anything, keep busy.