I Am Sorry
My feet are too big
Wide, women's, size 9 1/2
It's not what you think
I'm comfortable with my body,
My size, my shape, my feet
But today they just seem too big
Because I feel so small
I feel like a child
Whose done something wrong
Lying and hiding from mother and father
Though it shows on my face
I'm a terrible daughter
I'd like to shrink into a ball
And forget I exist
Float away from this tethering consciousness
Be like a small little mouse
All alone in a sea
Of people who don't know or care about me
After all, you can't let down a stranger
You can't disappoint, or hurt, or betray
Someone you've never met
But I'm here, in the flesh
Though I can't meet your eyes
I'm afraid you'll peer through me
And unmask my disguise
I want to protect you
From what I harbor inside
For if you knew the truth
Of the thoughts in my mind...
You'd be thoroughly disgusted
And never look at me the same
I'm sorry. That's really all I have to say
But that wouldn't change
What you would think of me
Or how I would cause you pain
You really deserve
Much better than me
There are billions of other
Fish in the sea
It just so happens
I'm the selfish type
You should be running away
But in ignorance you stay
And I can't tell the truth
For if you ever left
My fragile heart would break
I'm really no different
From the villain in your story
We're cut from the same cloth
Again, I am truly sorry.