My Basic Expectation
I expected something from her that was so basic, I didn't even realize it was an expectation until it was too late. It was more of an assumption, really. The assumption that she would stay alive a little bit longer - or at least past her 21st birthday.
I'm not sure if it was a random, unfortunate event, or if some mighty force in the universe decided to extend the hand of death in her direction. Religious people might call it an act of God; that God wanted one of his angels back home or something like that. I just think she was unlucky.
The expectation was that - like all of us, she would grow up into her 20s and follow us into the dark abyss (that is so often a metaphor) of early adulthood. A further expectation was that she would come home from college during break and we would all take her out for the long-awaited legal drink at 21. The expectation was not that she would turn 21 and be found dead the next day.
I expected her to stay alive. I expected her to be in the world, loving life, and achieving her goals with a vengeance, insisting on group reunions when we were all back in town. Turns out I expected too much of her. She broke my heart in a way that will remain broken until I see her again.