aftermath

There is a part of me that's still waiting

for the world to return to normal; still waiting

for the earth to level out beneath my feet

and somehow be a stable surface once again.

Currently my world is somewhat topsy-turvy, still

upside down, still backwards; something is still

missing and for the life of me, I cannot figure out what.

It is as if I am suffering the amputation of a phantom

limb, where instead of experiencing sensation

in a limb that is no longer there, I am experiencing a lack

of sensation in a limb that was never missing

to begin with. This, of course, leaves me more

than a little unsteady on my own two feet and more

than a little uncertain in the confines of my own mind

For if I cannot trust myself, then what can I trust?

#grief #bereavement #recovering #healing #death