To My Son in the Month of October (Emotional Stigmata)

It seems to always be the case- people wrapped up in so much foolishness.

And, everytime, when I think..... maybe, maybe not this particular person- I am inevitably wrong! Rejection

Judgement

Misunderstanding....

And, the fact is, I realize that people don't even know WHAT they are looking at when they see me.

But, the pile up is too much, and I ran out of shovels years ago!

Everything is transient in this New World. We just move from impulse to impulse like toddlers looking for the next shiny thing. Disinterested in the types of gardens built by our great grandmothers- seed by seed; moment by moment; year by year.

Just swipe left- too fat, too tall, too short- swipe left.

Swipe left- 'cause nothing has permanent value in a fluctuating market. We can just get more-

Am I right?

People sell that shit in bulk!

And, myself? So different- so alone. Perhaps, I should adapt. Just be someone else.

New identity, swipe

Left.

And, I look at my son, so much like me. IT IS NOT IN US TO NOT CARE! With a heart punctured by a million flecks of stardust- just letting the universe in- all at once, all the time, ALL OF IT!

I am proud of this, even while I witness the armor of a hard shell beginning to form around his tiny giant soul.

Should I tell him? Should I tell him that empaths are always alone?

That those around him will not be capable of caring to the same impenetrable depths.

They won't- and there is NOTHING that he can do about that....or himself.

"This is your curse; this is your gift."

It is people like us- chosen by the Divine, or genetic flaw, or chance-

to bear the sadness of these sins: injustice, oppression, and suffering in ANY form.

Yes, the suffering of all: good or bad; sinner or saint; and all the shades between.

You will pray, "let this cup pass from me."

But, it will not- cannot.

You are made this way, son.

I see you- your internal working- the tick-tock of your mind.

You will let people off WAY easier than they probably deserve.

And, in the most cruel act of fate, they will judge you more harshly PRECISELY BECAUSE YOU ARE KIND!

I never wanted to surrender my light. Of all that has been taken from me- I protected it!

I protected: my Wonder, my Energy, my Love, my Power!

Do NOT let the darkness take your purpose!

Instead, push it down, and rise above. Because, THAT is what keeps you from being a victim!

You are beautiful; your pain is beautiful; your wrath is beautiful! You are a full cup in a world of emptiness. Let them drink from you. Because, though you may weep when you believe there is nothing left- you will be filled again. Because, the well of the universe is infinite. Be always: just and fair; kind and tender.

This takes much more strength than being hard.

I love you.