Calmly Insane

It claws, it tears and completely shreds what little sanity I have. My mind, a wasteland of possible scenarios that could have went down between us, the ones that seem most plausible hanging on to their last chances of hope. My fingers twich and squirm, they want to be around your torso, pulling you in closely. Your scent like a calming drug, a biochemical Aderall if you will. In a crowded area my eyes analyze every corner, every inch of the room, skimming over faces that aren't yours. I'm driven to the point where you're all I think about. As little we have together, it brings me much more joy than what I've had the years prior. Sometimes I think I already am crazy. I feel your eyes penetrating my darkest parts of my being, not exposing me but healing what's been broken for far too long. An arm that skims me sends chills down my body. My mind is that of a schizophrenic, out of tune with reality, the voices of my mind ushering my actions into being. The crescendo of voices screaming that I need to act before the opportunity is gone. My voice, my subconcious knows that you won't leave. You're here with me, in my life, right now. Your silky words lull me into a dreamscape like no other. When I dream, being insane is okay. In the wake, insanity hides behind the mischevious eyes and covered smiles. But thankfully, either awake or asleep, you're still here. Maybe you're real, or the meds I haven't taken unleashed you from your cage of my mind.