Sampling little dabs,

dribs and drabs

of all that's left,

guilty of theft -

stealing my heart,

insanity raising

its ugly head

as you

whisper on

my bawdy red lips.

Dribbling, nibbling,

lightning sparks on

mirrored walls

inside my core,

wanting more

setting me aflame.

I scrub you off

but you stick

in cellophane strips,

tight velcro grips,

snagged onto

my eager skin.

You drain my brain

your bones enmeshed,

crescendo building

inside my body,

enveloping my soul,

clouding my spirit,

dragging chains,

entrapping me,

driving me INSANE.

#Challenge #Derailed #Crazy

You drive me crazy. Simply looking in your eyes causes me to melt, but one word can set my jaw in an instant. You are the most irritating comfort. I want to be wrapped up in your arms, and stay ten feet away from you instantaneously, at all times. You are the most confusing, sensible person in my world. I hate you. I love you. You make me crazy. You keep me sane. The only thing I know for certain is that I want you to stay here, with me.

she lives inside me. she tells me that i deserve more than i can afford.

she tells me not to show up to work because my mind is greater than anyone realises. she thinks i'll die if i flip another burger so she doesn't let me get off the bus.

glued to my seat i know that i will starve if i don't work but she says that's okay. i can survive starvation but not another day of listening to customers and colleagues alike complain about the cold and the drugs.

i go home and i write. that's all she wants from me.

i tell myself i'm not hungry. i tell myself i'm not losing my mind.

then i look in the mirror and beg her to leave me alone.

"You drive me insane." My room mate is sitting opposite me, on the couch, rolling her eyes. "I'm serious this time, Kara."

"Oh, I'm serious too." She hastily removes the smirk but her eyes still tell me she thinks this whole thing is just a joke.

"You keep me up all night with your insanely loud music, you borrow my clothes without asking..."

"Hang on, you do that too!" she interrupts.

"Yeah, but at least I don't return them with food stains on them!" I shout back.

"It happened like, once."

I raise an eyebrow. "Once?"

"Okay, maybe two or three...or six times."

"Exactly. You leave trash all over the place, you stay up late watching disturbingly violent movies..." I rant.

"I hardly find Boss Baby disturbingly violent, but whatever." She sighs and leans back into the couch. "Lanie, don't you think you're overreacting?!"

"NO! I already said, you drive me insane! And I can't deal with it anymore! I don't want to talk about it anymore tonight!" I give a noisy huff, cross my arms, and stare angrily at the ceiling.

All is quiet for several moments.

"A good insane, maybe?" Kara pipes up.

It claws, it tears and completely shreds what little sanity I have. My mind, a wasteland of possible scenarios that could have went down between us, the ones that seem most plausible hanging on to their last chances of hope. My fingers twich and squirm, they want to be around your torso, pulling you in closely. Your scent like a calming drug, a biochemical Aderall if you will. In a crowded area my eyes analyze every corner, every inch of the room, skimming over faces that aren't yours. I'm driven to the point where you're all I think about. As little we have together, it brings me much more joy than what I've had the years prior. Sometimes I think I already am crazy. I feel your eyes penetrating my darkest parts of my being, not exposing me but healing what's been broken for far too long. An arm that skims me sends chills down my body. My mind is that of a schizophrenic, out of tune with reality, the voices of my mind ushering my actions into being. The crescendo of voices screaming that I need to act before the opportunity is gone. My voice, my subconcious knows that you won't leave. You're here with me, in my life, right now. Your silky words lull me into a dreamscape like no other. When I dream, being insane is okay. In the wake, insanity hides behind the mischevious eyes and covered smiles. But thankfully, either awake or asleep, you're still here. Maybe you're real, or the meds I haven't taken unleashed you from your cage of my mind.

I love you. You drive me insane. I don't understand it, really. It's strange. Absolutely incomprehensive. I want you. I desire you. Can't you see? You tell me to stay away. You tell me we're uncompatible, but you and me? We're destiny.

Who is that you are standing with? Who is that you're sitting next two? How dare you? Don't you know cheating is wrong? You are dating you say? I loved you first. Why are you doing this to me? Fine. If I can't have you, nobody will.

damn it Man...

laugh a crazy laugh

Cuz, we know I've got 

mostly me to blame

having opened the 

portals to something 

so uniquely strange

Our mirror selves

on tightrope's edge

setting two seats

above the neon

traffic jamming streets

While overhead

an Invitation

to a banquet,

the Lady of

the evening spreads...

And from the left

that noble Gent

pours in champagne

for all our un-

expected friends...

Till the Maiden

carpet descends

wisking one out

to some ancient

accordian...

... and I waken

to daytime dreams

remembering

as if nothing

or so it seems...

tapping on

imaginary tambourines

#YOUDRIVEMEINSANE

#CHALLENGE

I used to breathe deeply, and float in the winds. Everyone around me was the wind; and I became heavy. Too heavy.

Who I am has always been determined by what was needed of me; and let me be clear - my name was never needed.

I landed on the ground one day, and found sunshine in your eyes. I needed to stay a while: be warm again. You let me do that, for a long time. Until I was blinded and burned. Not burned like fire, but burned like adrenaline through every inch of my veins. A black hole would suction in my chest, and the pressure I've always known would keep pushing the breath out from my lungs. Was I dying, or being reborn?

Your smile makes me cry, because I'm happy... That doesn't make sense though.

Your voice makes a home in my ears and every song just dances around it. Oh, and everything is a song.

Your touch makes me gasp for air, and writhe in agony. My eyes close, in pure ecstasy, but I want to see you, I don't want to miss a moment of you surrounding me. Yet, I'm looking away; looking up. You're still touching me.

In these moments I realize, over and over again just how different life is. I hadn't had a will to live it before you, but with this will came passion and excitement. And an absolute certainty that my soul has met its best friend. Something I don't believe in. Surely I must be crazy.