anymore

i dont think im ok anymore

i used to be a whole

but each day puts more of a chip in me

i used to scoff and say that ill always be fine

but now im not so sure

and im typing this in my bedroom

and if anyone comes in and asks

"what are you doing"

ill respond

"nothing"

and if you ask why there's scratches on my hand

ill make up some excuse like

"my dog scratched me"

and if you ask me if im ok

i will never ever say

"no"

because i dont want to be more

of a burden,

a weight to carry,

than i already am

it used to be so easy

but now even waking up is a battle

and every little jab at me

no matter how well meant

is one more piece in the pile

i dont even understand

i seem to have it all

so why do i want it all

to end?