Why can’t there just be me?

There can be so much I could say about this topic but honestly I doubt any of it would sound anything but selfish and self-rightous. If I were to start anywhere however, I would just like to start with what is going on. As of this post I really find myself struggling, in a way I suppose it's a struggle that everyone has, afterall there's not much that really differs from one person to the next, as I have been learning at least over the past seeral months. What I mean to say is I just am not really sure as to where exactly I'm going and where I can tread that has yet to be found. In an age where it feels as though everything is possible, I find irony in the fact that I cannot seem to locate the nook or cranny that there is for something original. Everyday, when I plug myself into this digital world that we are all so accustomed to, I find it that much sadder. Not so much in the fact that I hate what I see, but because it feels far too enjoyable. I'm so used to the same writing, skits, and sketches that populate the internet that I wonder what, if anything there is to add to it. Sure people say all the time that "anything is possible" and "everything has yet to be made" but honestly, I just don't know anymore what to think. Each day I keep thinking, 'What is there that I can make that has yet to exist?' afterall, I like to consider myself as a creator, at least from what I've done already. But even then, I just-I mean...I don't quite know what to do. I want to add, to contribute to this world in as much and as best as I can and yet, it still feels like it's not enough. As though what I do doesn't mean and will never mean anything to anyone. I think I'm a fool. Whatever I can dream up someone out there as done far better already. So the question then arises..."Should I keep trying?"

Yes. I will. I'll do it. Whether I succeed at it or not. Whether I make a million people laugh or none. I'll keep trying. I can't stop. It's not in me to stop. The end hasn't come yet, and until my end comes it's up to me to continue to perform to the best of what I can do. No matter what people say, or do, or think. This is me. If everyone says I'm a bloke, an idiot, a self-centered millenial, then so be it. I will keep pushing. I will keep shoving. I WILL keep breaking down every possible creative door I can. I will keep testing every new mechanic I can think of and make sure that nothing is impossible for me to accomplish. No matter the budget, no matter the effort. This is my curse. This is my desire. I will continue to create till I agree to die. Even in death do I hope to keep creating. What's new is constant, what's original is sacred. I want to be original, I WILL be original. I'm tired of being looked at as everyone else. They are not me and never will be. Only me exists. There is only one.