There can be so much I could say about this topic but honestly I doubt any of it would sound anything but selfish and self-rightous. If I were to start anywhere however, I would just like to start with what is going on. As of this post I really find myself struggling, in a way I suppose it's a struggle that everyone has, afterall there's not much that really differs from one person to the next, as I have been learning at least over the past seeral months. What I mean to say is I just am not really sure as to where exactly I'm going and where I can tread that has yet to be found. In an age where it feels as though everything is possible, I find irony in the fact that I cannot seem to locate the nook or cranny that there is for something original. Everyday, when I plug myself into this digital world that we are all so accustomed to, I find it that much sadder. Not so much in the fact that I hate what I see, but because it feels far too enjoyable. I'm so used to the same writing, skits, and sketches that populate the internet that I wonder what, if anything there is to add to it. Sure people say all the time that "anything is possible" and "everything has yet to be made" but honestly, I just don't know anymore what to think. Each day I keep thinking, 'What is there that I can make that has yet to exist?' afterall, I like to consider myself as a creator, at least from what I've done already. But even then, I just-I mean...I don't quite know what to do. I want to add, to contribute to this world in as much and as best as I can and yet, it still feels like it's not enough. As though what I do doesn't mean and will never mean anything to anyone. I think I'm a fool. Whatever I can dream up someone out there as done far better already. So the question then arises..."Should I keep trying?"

Yes. I will. I'll do it. Whether I succeed at it or not. Whether I make a million people laugh or none. I'll keep trying. I can't stop. It's not in me to stop. The end hasn't come yet, and until my end comes it's up to me to continue to perform to the best of what I can do. No matter what people say, or do, or think. This is me. If everyone says I'm a bloke, an idiot, a self-centered millenial, then so be it. I will keep pushing. I will keep shoving. I WILL keep breaking down every possible creative door I can. I will keep testing every new mechanic I can think of and make sure that nothing is impossible for me to accomplish. No matter the budget, no matter the effort. This is my curse. This is my desire. I will continue to create till I agree to die. Even in death do I hope to keep creating. What's new is constant, what's original is sacred. I want to be original, I WILL be original. I'm tired of being looked at as everyone else. They are not me and never will be. Only me exists. There is only one.

It's the funnest fun thing of any fun day. Finding fun in fun is what makes it fun and allow funnier fun to be funner in the process. Fun is fun and when fun exists in fun writing then fun becomes funner than even the second most fun a fun person can have. If a fun person doesn't fun write often, then what makes the fun person a fun writer? Only fun can develop after much fun is had doing something fun and funnest fun that I've had on any fun day is in fun writing. Fun writing doesn't think, keep, or deep, fun writing just does, fun. When I feel fun is just not in fun writing then I think how can it be fun. Then the fun hits me as I write funnily and it all makes sense. Watch with fun I can make fun long words like funtasticallfranticfundisticfundamalisminderintegratefunnieroffun. To fun small words like un. And the best fun part comes from the fun that finds fun in forming fun meanings from such fun words. The fun meaning of course behind these two fun words is "fun". Writing gives power and power is always fun. So whenever I have fun I have power and until I stop writing for fun I will never be in a less fun mood. And in a fun concluion, fun is fun no matter what fun is.

They DON'T. Honest to God going to college looking to get straight A's is like going fishing in a golf course, there's rhyme or reason to it. First off, no MATTER what, grades will always play second fiddle to real-world experience, secondly even if somehow they did matter would you really feel proud. In grade school and high school sure it makes sense, you're still learning and probably don't got a clue as to what in the world your existing for, so they're a good way to keep people in line. This is especially the case since every college likes to scare people till they wet themselves about how competitive they are and how they only accept the best of the best. Well of course then you're going to try to succeed then I mean as far as your concerned, YOU are the best. Why wouldn't you be? You've known yourself the longest and I would at least hope that no matter how much of an emo phase that you have after listening to System of a Down for the first time that at least like 1% of you is still thinking, "Yeah I suppose I'm worth going there." And then of course you apply to all of your dream schools and that one safety and only get accepted to the safety. But I'm digressing, the point is that even after all of that insanity and stress that comes from grades in high school. Then all of a sudden your in college sitting in your GE required Oceanography lecture about which floats down faster sand or clay particles and you just start thinking, "Why am I trying again?" Afterall when in life is it going to come up in a job where you're skills of ocean sediment will be a major determinant as to whether you get the job or not. Sure anything is possible, but if you ever do actually get a job where that is a requirment then you may want to just take a look as to what had to happen in your life to lead you to that point. But to bring this point out further, I suppose what I'm just trying to figure out myself is, if say for my own major I only need to put focus into certain classes, is there a way that such focus can also be redirected into GEs as well? As in what about instead of classes about rocks and sediment, there were MANDATED classes about finding an apartment, looking for a career job, how to repair a sink, or cook, or exist. Just overall life classes that would honestly feel you could at least you could apply in life. Going away from grades and putting a bigger emphasis on competence, wouldn't that feel better? Or at least as you focus more on what you want to do you learn what you NEED to do. I'll be honest I still am not sure how to do my taxes, or even go about finding the right auto insurance. As a kid you think this is just stuff that adults just know, but speaking as an adult now well...all I can say is I wish I knew. And in

the end this is not meant to be a rant of how crappy college is, or about how depressing I find college, for the most part in fact I see it as a great learning experience. It's just that I must also admit, that when your mind is forced to stare at pictures of sand for an hour and 35 minutes, your mind tends to wander at least just a bit into these sorts of thoughts.

I think I'm a writer, that's why I made this account afterall, I mean who would make an account here and not be a writer? Then again I don't really know what happens in people's minds so I guess I can't judge. But if I can't tell what goes inside a person's thoughts how can I call myself a writer? Afterall a writer is supposed to know what goes on inside every single one of their character's minds right? So therefore if I'm to be a writer then I must know how people think. But every person is unique and thinks differently right? So therefore I can't think otherwise. That's it I must give up on being a writer. But I like writing can't I still write. I suppose I could just write about something besides people. But people have an influence everywhere how can I find something that doesn't include people? Wait what about rocks? Rocks aren't including people, people just step on rocks. Only, isn't there a whole science devoted to rock study. Doesn't that mean people think about rocks? Well what else is there that don't involve people? I like space, space seems far enough away to involve people. Wait but we have satellites and ships propelling further into space, we took our thoughts into space. That sounds cool come to think of it but now I can't write about space. What can I write then? This? I suppose I could write this. Yea here we go I'm writing, writing my own free thoughts down, no one can get mad if I just write what comes to mind. Now I can just calmly and confidently write in peace. Well here it is...Actually...To be honest. It's kind of boring. I mean I'm writing sure but I'm just writing about nonsense. I mean look here where I talk about space, and over there where I mention something about rocks. I mean ROCKS?? Seriously, I couldn't think of anything better than to write about rocks. Out of all of the wonders in the world I chose to write about rocks. How could I be so ridiculous? Is this what it's like to not have an imagination, do I not have an imagination? Wait but I want one. I still like writing, how can I get an imagination. Does is spring from conscience, is that what it is? No but conscience is merely just a stream of thoughts, and thoughts aren't very imaginative. I need to keep thinking though, if I keep thinking then I'm sure I'll think of something creative, like mining for diamonds. Only I just established that my thoughts aren't interesting, so what else is there that I can do? Should I give up now? It certainly seems like the only option. To say "so long" to the very thing I've been wanting to be my whole life. I always said that I would grow up to be a writer. But now I suppose I'm gonna abandon that. But how can I do that? Won't my younger self be disappointed? True my younger self doesn't exist anymore but to me he does. He sits right here in my mind. Actually...THAT'S IT!! I'll have him be my creative side. He'll know what he always wanted to write about in big words. Let's see um...Dinosaurs, PowerRangerz, Spongebob, Teen Titans, race cars, Neptune, milk, oreos. You know come to think of it...my younger self isn't all that creative either, just nostalgic. Well so much for his help, I'll just put him back where he belongs. Okay now back to business, let's see if I went anywhere new while I was away. Hmm...MmHmm..,Just what I thought, nothing. Guess I gotta keep waiting then. Wait and sit, sit and wait let the ideas come to me instead. Yes...here they come...any moment now...they're probably just in traffic...almost here...and...and...AND...I got it. It's official. No wonder it took so long to realize. It was so obvious that it right in front of me the whole time. And here I was afraid I wasn't a writer, how could I be so foolish. Of course I'm a writer. I've got writer's block.

Abortion is a choice no one else should be bothered by. Guns DO kill, anyone who says its people that kill are just lying to the only fool listening, themself. I'm a Catholic who believes that God crafted us over eons as science has shown to be true with nebular and big bang theory, is there still a place for me #confused. I don't know what and where or how to think without pissing someone off, wait who did I piss off in that statement? I think life is about finding out what life is but what do I know I'm only an undergrad. I feel at an odd place thinking I'm old yet knowing full well I'm too yound to supposed to be thinking that way. I wish someone would just tell me how to think#jk #ithink. I like the world the way I see it, in one piece#staybeautiful. I like to think I'm ok with all people everywhere but my conscience still judges them, is it ok if I blame my conscience for being a bigot? Am I a bigot as a result? I know I'm a millennial and value nothing but can siri tell me if I can change, I hope the answer is yes. #seriouslywhydoistillusehashtagswhenicanjustsendatweetwithoutone