A Romantic Evening 2

A dark and stormy night. I'm in the bar, drinking a Bloogis. A sweet drink, from the caverns of Glumpt. I spot her.

She's literally red. She's painted fully red. Why? I don't know but the mysteriosity of it all is sexy.

I buy her a drink, we talk about my Aunt Graywad. In what seems like a matter of moments, we're back at my apartment getting shlisky.

She takes off my Tumblers, I remove her Spear Rack. She smelled like eggs, like eggs from the King's rabbit. The King's fucking rabbit. Brittle did I know, her Yxmin was toxic. Oh dear God, what have I gotten into? I remember the Checkie at the bar. That dirty little Checkie was bonding with me and now I can't forget her. But I'm with Stebelja now, pouring my Crunt into her stinky, toxic Yxmin.

"Rev it!" She moans.

I fear her loud moan groans have drawn the attention of the local Foilers. We continue anyway. My Papus Monk Oils are being produced at an accelerated rate now, a sign of pure Love Intoxication. I crack her Tywall as she rubs against my Reelver, I'm literally about to Kroll it.

"Bump that shit!" She screams.

But I can't bump it. Her toxic Yxmin has begun to consume my Heevis, I yell in pain. I call out for the Foilers and they bust into my apartment to save my life, immediately dousing me with Cunch Liquor. The Cunch numbs the pain but my Sneevlis is as good as gone, despite what's left of my Heevis still groveling for more. I Spinch my Grutter with one final Mongus and the dirty little deed is done.

She spends the night. The next day I'm already back at it again. Beeplin her Scunchguard and Power Truvving her Molkfert, it's the best Relt I've ever had. I throw on some smooth Jazz played by my favorite brand, "The Croaters." My Heevis doesn't work quite like it used to, but it's okay because this is true love. I don't need to be great at Hulshing her Brulo or Fevering her Derf, the same way I don't care if she can give me a real good Floash. Love is about looking past each other's Triloids and Grimmies and seeing what truly matters: your innermost Rexcons.