When they pretend

As you get older we as people start to realize how that childish pretend game you used to play as a kid takes charge in real life as people cannot deal with the suffocation of it all. People pretend that they are fine; they make up lies to hide the truth within. Some find this game fun to play with people till the end but don’t understand how dangerous the game can get. Regret, cheating, lies, and violence stir up together into a pot of drug-induced reality that becomes distorted from these minimal crimes we commit. People pretend to be your friend for years only to find out that the entire time you’ve been listening to their every word, spilling your biggest secrets, and comforting them in dark times, they have been going behind your back with empty promises and heart-breaking lies that confuse you on what is real. Overall these people suck but everyone seems to do it at least once whether it be a pretend on a epic story to hide a boring life or an exaggeration on how well you did on a task to gain respect. Since I’ve finally realized this truth of a friend, I can’t sleep, eat, or let alone speak to others out of the fear of being hurt or broken again. She has brought terror around me as blackmail circles her generic name of Zoe; the nicest girl in the world that wouldn’t hurt a fly. I can’t breathe when I’m around her and can’t stop crying during lonely nights even though she never was a lover but only a simple friend of 6 years. I’ve talked her out of suicide and have tried to brighten her day when she is sad but her personality had secretly changed as the world didn’t notice. Her true self shines one day as to where she shut me out and played the victim in a two way situation but through all this she gained the sympathy of a crowd that couldn’t see through her lies and used my greatest weakness against me. Loneliness. It surrounds me as I have no one to speak to or feel comfortable with. I can’t speak to others without them blowing me off or acting bothered by my presence. It’s funny how the mind plays tricks on people to where I’m feeling responsible for everything, apologizing constantly, and feeling utterly alone no matter if people are near me. I want to say goodbye to these feelings but they keep on pestering me and killing my will to live. I have no power to fix anything or to gain any respect anymore. This pretend game can get to people and it makes the beautiful mind turn dangerous. I want to leave this world but I don’t have the will to try and I’m kept in this session of sadness and simple boredom. Every story that seems to be read always ends with happiness and good fortune but that all is a pretend life that hides away the realities of war, trauma, mental illness, inequality, genocide, and many other deep problems that have and continue to go on in this world with the privileged moving on with ignorance to the other countries and people that are not doing well. The rich buy big houses and huge tv’s with a little percentage going to a charity or case study that will never get a real benefit or impact on the whole of a situation. We as people continue to pretend that these issues don’t go on and that it isn’t our problem or job and sometimes it does feel like we all can’t make a difference. Even I am a hypocrite for writing this because I too feel that I can’t do anything in this world to benefit with no power or money but I do feel that inspiration and understanding needs to happen to the ones that do hold power. Although I would like to have hope, I feel that my life will keep going on the same and no change will be made simply because...

There are no happy endings in this world