Rain

Rain always makes me happy not only because it’s a great time to read and settle in but also because is distracts from the noise and actions of others. It would block out the fighting and clatter of my father beating and hitting me mother when I was younger and would give me hope that he would stop and that the blood wasn’t real. I never visited the hospital but I do know that my mother had to go a plenty of times. She was always to scared and unwilling to give up the relationship until the divorce and even then she continues to date abusers and call back every single one of them to ask for them to come back and continue the terrible relationship. It makes me sick to see that she continues this reckless will to keep these people in her life but I also understand her need for people to like her. He would never hurt or touch me or my sister but my father would sure yell a lot and care the crap out of six year old me with his scare tactics and threats to hurt us or my mom. Sometimes we would leave and sleep in the car when he got crazy from all the alcohol and his drinking didn’t get any better after the divorce especially his bad temper. It still hurts to remember the blood and fighting that I saw as a child but every family has their problems I guess. The rain sometimes helps soothe my fear and still forget about my family for a second. This isn’t such a terrible lifestyle and childhood as others may have definitely had worse but it still isn’t very happy as most feel like things are. I will live out my life normally and full of boredom until the day I die and will probably forget about these troubles as time passes.

There are no happy endings in this world.