I Wanna Live

It’s been seeping in, silently creeping

Got me geeking while it violently seeks

Got me sippen; rippen weed for peace

Bleeding internally, mortally functioning

Hope I never say ‘Fuck it’ I wanna live

If I kick the bucket at my own head

Know I tried my best

This rain is sleet, my pain the beat

Of my heart, carved some scars

Life did the rest, bullies me dead

Thank a phoenix I resurrect

Flap my wings till the ashes spark my Bic

Hope I never say ‘Fuck it’ I wanna live

Dopamine repression

Slow crawl forward

Lightening regression

Nothing scares me more

Than this living, god don’t get me

Devil left me on the floor

With these thorough words

To describe my pain, this depression

Is my curse and my sword

God I’m lost, a toss up between

A good man and a broken mess

Look free, my prisons invisible

Jumped on a crazy train one summer

Been trying to catch a buzz from my youth

This depression is a bummer

Slowly killing me to tell the truth

Always been a runner, gunner

Fuck it, just because bridge burner

Slow learner, unconcerned with tomorrow

These days it’s a fuck I’ve gotta give

Before I slip under

Throw a rope my way I wanna live

Dopamine repression

Slow crawl forward

Lightening regression

Nothing scares me more

Than this living, god don’t get me

Devil left me on the floor

With these thorough words

To describe my pain, this depression

Is my curse and my sword

Swear I’m gonna fight

Fear has been my pilot

Far too long, crash that flight

Healing can be violent

I get by, I stay high

Turns the chatter back to silence

Do or die there is no try

Fuck Jedi, from the darker side

Gotta get a grip, flip the script

Hope I never kick the bucket at my own head

I wanna live

Dopamine repression

Slow crawl forward

Lightening regression

Nothing scares me more

Than this living, god don’t get me

Devil left me on the floor

With these thorough words

To describe my pain, this depression

Is my curse and my sword