We could all be evil…
Kindness is a choice. It takes cognitive effort to resist the temptation of revenge. When I was a kid, every time my parents upset me, I would go into the bathroom (not having to courage to talk back, hmm, a professional introvert) and imagine myself cleaning the toilet using their toothbrush (learnt it from a Korean drama, in which the wife used his husband’s toothbrush to scrub the sink after their argument, very fucking hilarious!! If only I could remember its name!!) Yet in reality I NEVER do it (relax!). It is because the flashback always made me laugh and stop being angry. Besides, you can’t be mad at your parents forever, right? Most of they did a great job for not dumping their little assholes away when they were disturbing their sleep every damn night. (You won’t understand unless you have lived with a baby or a kid. In case you want to know, I once had an annoying baby brother, and now I have a larger annoying piece of shit.)
The point is, this still works for me. I felt great every time I transferred my anger into joy, a negative to positive. Yes, sometimes my parents are wrong, but what’s the point of arguing? You will never change a person’s mind. The most you could do is to make them WANT to change their decisions. (Never work on my parents though!!!)
But there is a universal problem: from time to time, we would found ourselves keep on encountering more and more individuals that do not even worth our respect. It seemed like it is impossible to be kind to others meanwhile without hurting us. Sometimes I struggled to fake a nice person and maintain my mental health having infinite imaginations of revenge. How can we try to be a better person?
I think the first step to being kind is to know that you can be as fucking evil as you like. If you strive to be nice, you won’t make it. Only if you leak out the dark side of yourself (I mean mentally) and wipe your eyes to see the consequences, you would be able to be good. To be good because you want a better life. To be good because you want people to love you. Most importantly, to be good so that your conscience will not blame you and that would lead you to a much better life. No pressure, no regrets, and less mess because you fucked up fewer times.
When some people said, ’Let your conscience be your guide;, it is undoubtedly true. But do remember that there is an evil side of you that sometimes need its attention.
Perhaps it would be better to let the devil lead us MENTALLY while conscience could act as our real friend.
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