Good morning, madam

Would you like a drunk?

You know that this young fellow

is looking for his pink medal

Smile, sit down

remember to be quiet

and occasionally release some hook

Stupid girls do it cheap

but you are going to let him in charge

You end up to this

A day a flower lost its sun

her soil was evaporated and so she needs to figure out how

We only want fighters, they say

I am hungry, mama, she says

While some jobs don't make much money

all she could think of is

Holding her bleeding flower to home

for long the petals were ruined and burned

Mummy, I was waiting for you last night

She smiled with tears

for watering this little flower

hoping that someday

someday

she will bloom

‘Born This Way’ is definitely a pop music classic. The idea and concept are simply awesome and have been widely appreciated.

Here are some examples of the applications:

I was born with this skin colour. Great, please don’t try to change it.

I have naturally curly hair. Good, you should be like Frieda.

(High five for Peanuts fans!)

Then I found someone who is rude and said, I was born to be straightforward!

Wait, what?

I don’t know if you have experienced this. You met someone whom you want to be friends with, and you did. Then one time he or she did something wrong, or I should say, you think that they could have done better. So, as a friend, you tried to give your advice and tell them what they could improve, then they go like:

‘I’m not perfect. Sorry.’

‘Don’t you know that I always talk like this?’

‘Are you criticising me?’

‘Hello? It’s not the first day we’ve met!’

Some people just can’t accept any negative comments about them. They use excuses like ‘so what? Nobody is perfect!’ or ‘I WAS BORN THIS WAY!’ to convince themselves that they can continue doing things in their uniquely spectacular manner. Well, these people handicapped their self-improvement.

Though no one is responsible to make others feel great, it is important to keep open for negative comments. Some of them might make sense (I would say most actually, especially those from people who really know you), while some don’t. But if you keep on rejecting All of them, how are you going to improve?

Indeed, no one is perfect. Yet that doesn’t mean we need to be satisfied for what we’ve done. Like what Mark Manson said (did you read his life-changing book by the way?), we are always wrong, but from time to time we could keep on correcting ourselves. It is not seeking for perfectionism but being hungry. Which is what makes us humans.

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#life #blog #opinion #psychology #thoughts

Everyone makes mistakes. Including your parents. However, we might find it harder to forgive our parents than the others because deep down we expect them to always do the right thing and be nurturing as caretakers. Sadly, that just not how parenting goes.

In fact, when we are learning to grow up, our parents are learning too. No matter how many times you have been a parent, there are always new challenges. It is because everyone is unique, and we face different situations for every damn second. Some days we feel happy, but some days we don’t, and when you are living with some annoying kids (by that I mean all kids are fucking annoying), you might find yourself can’t stop yelling or at least mentally smashing the house.

This happens more likely when you are an emotional person like my mum.

My mother never controls her mouth. When I was in grade three, one day she told me to look in the mirror. So I did. Then she started speaking, ‘Look at your face.’, I stared at myself. ‘Look at your face and see how ugly you are. You look just like a skull.’

In case you want to know, her tone was completely calm and serious as if a teacher is giving her lesson. My aunt was right there and she stopped her. I kept staring at myself and went speechless.

Years later I notice that she had an argument with someone earlier that day. In other words, she was just finding someone (me) to project and divert her anger. It was somehow involuntary. But still, it hurts.

I took almost a decade to cope with that 20 seconds. After her words, I spend years to deal with the insecurities of my looks. No matter how many clothes I brought, what make-up I put on, it seems that I am just not pretty enough. Even when someone was interested in me (and I shared the same feeling) I just feel like I didn’t deserve this. I didn’t deserve love.

Two years ago I brought this up to her again, and guess what? She completely forgot about it. It was because for her those twenty seconds never matter. For her, it’s just another moment when she was just too angry and wasn’t using her brain. (Well, this often, I mean ALWAYS occurs to her.) And that’s it. Words that affected almost my whole life was actually meaningless.

We are all self-oriented. We wish others to understand ourselves and care about us. Because we should be heard. Because what we think matters to OURSELVES. Because we are unique (but who isn’t?). It is quite hurtful to realise that in fact, no one needs to give a fuck about what we think. (Unless products that want OUR money.)

Words like ‘inconsiderate’, ‘selfish’ are used to accuse people who ignore our feelings. But if you think deeper, it is possible to consider EVERY ONE ON EARTH when one’s making a decision. No. Every time we do something somebody could be offended. When you take a bus to work, you are making a taxi drivers’ life harder. Someone lost their offers when you have taken something. People could complain no matter what you do (even you died your family and friends lose their companion!) Just because someone does not care what you think, it doesn’t mean they are inconsiderate. It just means that they concern about other things more. In others words, they don’t give a fuck about you. And when we are angry, we don’t give a fuck about ANYONE besides ourselves.

Everyone is fucking each other. We are a victim and at the same time an offender. Like it or not, this is what happens when people live together. Everyone has their own concerns and mess to deal with, no one is responsible to make you feel good no matter how close you two are. We always deal with our own mind first. It is hard to not feel frustrated or aggressive when things messed up. We all experience this, isn’t it? It is not that unreasonable.

So next time when someone offends you, do remember that no one is innocent. Perhaps when you know their experiences, you would find yourself somehow related to them (or you can imagine a pathetic experience for them). Most importantly, when we are having an emotional breakdown, most of us say words that sound mean but actually means nothing. Try not to take it seriously. But if you still feel offended, it does not hurt if you have a small evil imagination of revenge. Yet once you talk or fight back, it means war.

‘Think before you speak’ is easier talked than done. Moreover, we could not control the mouths of others but only how we chose to interpret and deal with them. The way we chose to interpret everything determines our life.

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#blog #opinion #life #forgiveness

Earth, 2119. It’s the 100th anniversary of human extinction. The gods have taken back the place, literally.

Here on earth, the Buddha is carrying out his daily meditation routine on a fine high chair in a temple.

Just after he closed his eyes, his iPhone rang. Knowing who the caller is, he tut-tutted and picked it up.

Jesus: Hey Buddha!

Buddha: What?

Jesus: It’s 2119 today! Are you going to Zeus’s party? They are taking out the humans for fun!

Buddha: Humans? I thought they were extinct...

Jesus: It turns out that Elsa froze some of them!

Buddha thought, Okay, he is clearly drunk. Shouldn’t have picked up the phone in the first place. He put down the phone and before he hangs up he heard, ‘Drink my blood oh dear!’ and some smashing sound.

When he thought that he could finally focus on his mind, a woman sobbed behind him. He turned around and sighed, Nüwa is standing here. She eyes are swollen as if she put two hard-boiled eggs on her pretty face.

(In case you don’t know her, let me Google it for you: ‘the goddess of the order who created humans and saved the world from destruction in Chinese mythology’. But wait a minute, where was she when the world is out of order?)

‘Nüwa...’

‘Did they do that? Frozen my babies?’ Her silk handkerchief is all wet and when you look closer you can see tears (or it could be snot...) dripping on the floor. The Buddha try to suppress his internal scream for Nüwa ruining the altar wood floor, he looked at her eyes (though he can’t actually see them), and said, ‘Nüwa, you just need to let go.’

She threw down her handkerchief which landed right on the floor, the Buddha stood up immediately, trying to examine whether the translucent liquid is tears or something else. She screamed, ‘Enough! Everyone is telling me to move on! DO YOU GUYS EVEN KNOW HOW THE HELL DID THEY ALL VANISHED! YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND!’

The Buddha tighten his eyebrows, ’Vanished? I thought the nature...

Nüwa interrupted, she is now sitting on the floor, ‘How would you feel when you work really really hard, try to fill up this whole, large land. And your work is criticised not only by other gods but the humans themselves! I know! I know they realised that they are from different gods and separated into different races! Some of the mines hated the others while some of them...they...they tortured each other! What do you expect? DO YOU THINK IT’S EASY TO MAKE EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM UNIQUE! AND THEY FORMED SOME RIDICULOUS HIERARCHY!’

Buddha clarified, ‘You mean they thought some of them were more good-looking...’

She gasped and continued, ‘You try to fix this problem for your whole life...then someday...someday they just... gone...’ Her tears streaming down her face.

When Nüwa is trying to clam down meanwhile her body is shaking, the Buddha texted his helpers to come cleaning the floor. It would take a while for them to walk here.

He got down and patted her shoulder, ‘It’s never your fault, Nüwa. You’ve done your very best.’

She pursed her lips, ‘Did you know what happened to them?’

He shook his head, ‘Honestly, I don’t. No one knows what happened. One day they just disappear. It’s been 1...’

Suddenly someone called him, it’s Jade Emperor. Nüwa stared at his phone incredulously, ‘Is that iPhone 6 I am seeing?’

He nodded, ‘You’re right.’

Nüwa’s jaw dropped. ‘How on earth are you still using it? Call Steve Job’s spirit out now and we could...’ The Buddha ignored her and answered the call.

‘Hey Buddha, Jade. We need to have an urgent meeting with Zeus. YOU need to join us RIGHT now.’

’Got it,...

Before Buddha continues, the great glass elevator flew to him.

‘Sir, please.’ Two teenage angels emerged, they are wearing a pink grown, which means interns. The girls came out, bowed their heads and signalled Buddha to go in.

So, What do you think the Buddha is facing?

#justforfun

Kindness is a choice. It takes cognitive effort to resist the temptation of revenge. When I was a kid, every time my parents upset me, I would go into the bathroom (not having to courage to talk back, hmm, a professional introvert) and imagine myself cleaning the toilet using their toothbrush (learnt it from a Korean drama, in which the wife used his husband’s toothbrush to scrub the sink after their argument, very fucking hilarious!! If only I could remember its name!!) Yet in reality I NEVER do it (relax!). It is because the flashback always made me laugh and stop being angry. Besides, you can’t be mad at your parents forever, right? Most of they did a great job for not dumping their little assholes away when they were disturbing their sleep every damn night. (You won’t understand unless you have lived with a baby or a kid. In case you want to know, I once had an annoying baby brother, and now I have a larger annoying piece of shit.)

The point is, this still works for me. I felt great every time I transferred my anger into joy, a negative to positive. Yes, sometimes my parents are wrong, but what’s the point of arguing? You will never change a person’s mind. The most you could do is to make them WANT to change their decisions. (Never work on my parents though!!!)

But there is a universal problem: from time to time, we would found ourselves keep on encountering more and more individuals that do not even worth our respect. It seemed like it is impossible to be kind to others meanwhile without hurting us. Sometimes I struggled to fake a nice person and maintain my mental health having infinite imaginations of revenge. How can we try to be a better person?

I think the first step to being kind is to know that you can be as fucking evil as you like. If you strive to be nice, you won’t make it. Only if you leak out the dark side of yourself (I mean mentally) and wipe your eyes to see the consequences, you would be able to be good. To be good because you want a better life. To be good because you want people to love you. Most importantly, to be good so that your conscience will not blame you and that would lead you to a much better life. No pressure, no regrets, and less mess because you fucked up fewer times. 

When some people said, ’Let your conscience be your guide;, it is undoubtedly true. But do remember that there is an evil side of you that sometimes need its attention.

Perhaps it would be better to let the devil lead us MENTALLY while conscience could act as our real friend.

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