World Domination!
I am a cockroach, hear me roar! (Well, hiss.) I know, it's a weird choice byt I can justify it. That thing in the White House is button-happy. One wrong word or unnappreiated, unfunny, obviously overcompensating 240 character post and we're all goners. Or you suckers are. Cockroaches can withstand the blasts of a nuclear warhead. I'm sure my friends the gokiburi found that out during Hiroshima and Nagasaki. But wait, what if the earth gets buried in the industrial trash that people don't bitch about and we have to run away to space? Ho problem! Cockroaches can withstand up to 400Gs of force thanks to our small stature so *mouth farting sound* to all you losers. And don't try to lock me out (again) because cockroaches are thin and can squeeze through tight spaces. So, prepare for the biggest roach investation in Martian history! (Do the math, you'll see what I mean.) Plus, we can fly too, so even if you think you are getting away from us, think again, pal!
Now, there are some drawbacks. Obviously, I'll be a male cockroach so I'm not spitting out egg every two months or so (103 days on average to be exact), so I will need to get a large wall for all the pictures of all 200-300 of my children. That's just from one baby mama. Don't worry though. The naming is her problem. Plus, there is the problem of... What are you doing? Oh no, not the algebra text book! Oh no, oh no! I hate math, the books are so heavy! Aah! (THUD!) Maybe I won't be a cockroach after all.