Job interview from Hell
Now, many of you have jobs you hate. Maybe you work in an office for 10 hours a day. Maybe you work at in costomer service. Everybody hates costomer service. But some of you might like your jobs. Maybe you opened the storefront of your dreams, or maybe you just love the employee discount you get for wherever you work. I happen to love my job. My name is Eski. Welcome to your job interview.
The type of business I run here is not conventional. Nobody who first comes into this life fully-grown and knee deep in finely aged blood opens a Superstore if you know what I mean. And I know you do. You see, this job is a bit more . . . involved than other positions. We take care of . . . problems. Promblem causing people that is. To be frank, we eat them and bath in their still warm blood. Oh, sorry for that bid of drool; I couldn't help myself.
It's a key nich in the workplace that we have here, Lucy-- may I call you Lucy?-- Without us, there would just be too many problem people for those mortals to deal with. And you know how idiotic humans can be.
The health benifits are marvelous too. You'd be suprised what a healthy diet fresh human blood and guts can provide. We even have dental!
I see your resume is a little barren; you're new aren't you? Ah, well, I am afraid I was looking for somebody with more expirience. You did not even list references!
I regret to inform you that you will not be execpted into this position, Lucy. I'd like to say that I'm sorry for this, but I have been hoping for this outcome since you came in.
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The great demon Eski devoured the devil, Lucifer, and drank his blood with flourish. The expression on his face was that of pure ecstacy and evil. Once flesh was ripped from bone, he said, "Next interviewee, please."