What was that?!?!

Out of the Misty haze of the toxic swamp he emerges , covered in flith , plastics, radioactive tar and high fructose corn syrup. The monster’s eyes gleam fluorescently in the dark, searching , listening. Left on earth by the aliens on purpose, (and good riddance) he roams , bringing suffering and grief wherever he goes.

Had many phases before this ominous decline.

Early youth spent playing piano and saxophone, and entertaining a fantasy of playing with the big guys. After playing in jam sessions with a few giants, he realized that he is never going to be brilliant enough. Just not .

Later the beast began studying political science with a second Major in Asian studies, specializing in Chinese.

Has been living ever since in China, working as an English teacher. Taught students of all ages and managed to bring many to loath the English language, along with the entire family of Hindu-Aryan languages, just to be safe.

Been married to the most amazing, patient and tolerant woman in the universe.

In his deep underground lair he strives to become a published writer. he has so far written two novels; one, a sci-fi novel, the other a magic realism sort of hack. Hack is the key word here. Have not been published and do not expect miracles. However there is always hope: the monster used to be a radical atheist, and now he has found god. Though definitely not something formal. The monster hates loud noises, smoking (funny, considering how much time he spent in the depth of jazz clubs) . also hates violence, Richard cleiderman, Kenny G and rod stewart (who does not even deserve to be capitslized). Don’t like prudes, don’t like radicals of any sort.

The monster has a weakness for FOOOOD, literature, music and good company. His tastes alternate wildly. Strangely, the more pissed off he is, the more ancient the music needs to be to sooth his rage.

It hurts him in the tail when people use emojis. His dorsal fins get infected when people just use the comments as a way to get nasty. Leave it outside, he says, this is what the swamp is for.

If he hasn't commented on your work or even "liked" it there could be one of a few reasons :

1) he didn't see it

2) he didn't think his growls and screeches would offer much comfort or encouragement.

3) you were nasty and he needs to tend to that infected dorsal fin. Have a heart you guys.

If this loathsome beast offended you in any way, (apart from physical revulsion. Not his fault). He apologizes profusely. Remember, he is a radioactive-tar-covered reptile after all.