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batmaninwuhan
A struggling English teacher, living in China, battling a chronic lack of computer skills.
841 Posts • 185 Followers • 77 Following
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Challenge
What if you had superpowers?
Choose 3 superpowers, (or less) and write about who you would be if you had superpowers. Are you the hero, villain, or afraid of yourself? Are you human, or something else? Aer your powers common, or never heard of before? Please keep it clean and preferably PG, have fun! Tag me @Iamagoofball
batmaninwuhan
• 3 reads

superpowers...emm..

i check around, and many have some sort of skill that they have which sets them apart. one guy can do math, another one knows how to spell.

those are super powers.

i am very good, at telling if food that is being warmed up in the microwave is ready. i need no annoying ping to tell me. its uncanny. imagine the highmark of microwave usage- popcorn. even that i can do. it doesnt mean that i can get all the kernels to pop, or prevent the pizza to be soggy. i am not a wizard. but i can make sure it nice and hot, and not burned, or overdone.

as for powers that i wish to have:

mind control- the ability to get people, including myself to change their minds in a way that agrees with me. its hard to imagine such a skill. i sure could use it with my cannibals.

healing and regenration - being sick and having sick people around is just ubearable. mental health also included.

enterprize- the power to actually be successful.. oh that would be a change..

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Challenge
Fear behind the curtain
Write a scary story where you don’t see the monster or villain. Terrifying situations without a monster are also allowed. Scariest wins.
batmaninwuhan in Horror & Thriller
• 27 reads

the unseen killer

the fleet decended , crashing through the thick, rich atmosphere.

those idiots were shoveling coal into their warships. our rays made boiling the water much easier.

we burned through their cities,

those idiots thried to hurl small lead pallets at us.

they were riding horses , storming us with sabers.

we incinirated both.

oh the fun we had.

until throats started to get sore.

it was all the hijinks, all that horsing around, we thought..

no.

lemon juice and honey just didnt cut it.

fever came next.

the first assult ships fell, unpiloted.

more ships fell.

even the great cruisers, which served command srarted to titter.

they tried to make it back to mars,

but couldnt.

my throat is not sore.

i never set foot.

but i was left behind...

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Challenge
Help solve one of philosophy's greatest questions: do fish have problems with fishbones when they eat?
fish bones are dangerous, many avoid eating fish because of the risks they pose. but do fish themselves have a problem with fish bones when they eat?
batmaninwuhan
• 12 reads

To get the ball rolling

well...this is so unchartered territory. you'd think that fish are safe to eat, depending on the way of preparation, and sanitary conditions. but fish bones are a pain, and could even kill you. (YOU!...even You!).

bones can stick in the larynx, or even pierce the stomach.

but do fish themselves, particularly carnivorous fish, succumb at times , to the avenging bone, as it hurtles down their digestive tract, primed to exact a deadly toll to the gregarious pices?

i submit to you that sea animals, through years of close calls, are perhaps more diligent in their cullinary self-actualization. but they have lost much in the process of evolution, as they abandoned prehansile digits, in favor of fins. i shall hazard, that a fish considers a chance at eating with equal parts excitment and concern. it would be like to mounted knights , preparing for a jousting tournament. the lances are out and directed, and the prize is great, but so is the danger. a reckless fish, eager to prove himself in the eyes of his peers, may impale himself upon a protruding bone, his heroics amounting to tragedy.

such is the way with youthful fish who devour each other needlessly. the elder fish, grown wise and patient, hunt only seldom, getting fat mostly through carefully masticating all those fallen showoffs.

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Challenge
Trash in space
Should trash go to space?
batmaninwuhan
• 27 reads

PIGS.....IN.....SPACE

this is one of the better things we've sent out to the stars. the cosmos is intimidated by a sharp turn of sarcasm. it is totally unmoved by spent fuel rods, or obsolete stores of media. all that just gets pulverised over time.

but radiation that is trashy in nature, like awful hallmark channel type of crap, game shows, SPORTS EVENTS, commercials, politics, religious preaching, and all the other crap we loaded onto one kind of antenna and let it catapult away, all that trash which annoyed us so, is spreading away from us, in all directions, and while some of it gets absorbed into some gravitational sinkholes, we are still responsible for the worst period of electromagnetic interference in history.

ever wonder why aliens don't transmit a message to us. its not that they were driven extinct, or are afraid. its just that its just bad manners!

keep your transmissions classy or pipe down. they don't want to complain , and they wont invade over this. but we are not making friends, the way we are going.

pigs in space, is what saves us from total humiliation. not much else.

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Challenge
help solve one of philosophy's greatest questions: is the pacific ocean more like a cement mixer or a blue colored park bench?
i know, this question comes up all the time. but maybe there is sonething new you can add to the already very rich discourse. to be specific- the pacific ocean as one of the great oceans of the earth, its contents, submerged or not. which one bear the greatest similarity/resemblance to the pacific ocean: a cement mixer, or a blue park bench?
batmaninwuhan
• 38 reads

just to get started..

the pacific ocean is the largest body of water on the plant. it contains all sorts of animals, sunken ships, unsunken ships, soon-to-be sunken ships, volcanos, seaweed, massive amounts of water. there are plenty of islands in it and even an entire continent is stuck at one of its corners. there are all kinds of storms, swells, tsunamis, waves and tubulences, much about it is unknown, it is heavily polluted and parts of it are in dispute over the territorial ownership. sights, sounds, smells and taste are all involved. oh, and some coconuts..

now here's the thing: we must find either a cement mixer OR a blue park bench as the most resembling the pacific ocean.

what arguments can you raise for the cement mixer, what arguments for the bench.

here's a few

cement mixer and its resemblence to the pacific ocean.

----------+--------+++++-------------------

-contains more stuff in it than a park bench.

-much of the contents are mysteroous to us. it is true that it is nominally designed to contain cement, sand , gravel sand, and water, but it may hold other things, like a sunken ship, or a school of fish, it may even contain coconuts.

-the cement mixer is designed to turn around, using powerful hydraulics or electrical currents, and turn that in to a circular movement. not unlike ocean currents which move around, driven by powerful forcces, primarily the sun.

-the cement mixer has a high value , usage and importance.

-regardless of the motion of the mixer, the vehicle that carries may be in motion.

-if either the cement mixer or the vehicle is mishadled, the results will be disastrous.

-as the mixer is at work, there is a soothing, wave like sound, as the gravel and sand grind against the inner walls of the mixer.

blue park bench and its resemblence to the pacific ocean:

-+-+-+-+++-++++-;;;;-;-------------++++

-its blue. maybe deep , intensly dark blue. maybe it is a new coat of azure. just like the sea. really, that was obvious.

-though many could claim it, they come and go in the end. the bench stays where it is forever.

-the planks that make up the seat are separated. looking at it from the front, it is clearly a series of waves.

-the wood contains eyelets, and burrs, which swirl down, tempring you...tempting you...tempting you..

-the backrest is a merciless tsunami.

-if you lick different parts of the bench, you will find ample similarities between it an the low tide scum, or the Mariana abyssal, or the great japanese 'research' whaling ship.

-the bench is coated with a plastic lacquer, and one or two of the planks are newer, pvc fake-wood . well...plenty of plastic in the ocean.

-ants that pick on whatever the last guy sitting was eating (very hard to tell at this point) resemble the endless chain of maritime freight.

- spots of dried bird shit bespatter the seat. one looks like honolulu, one like Samoa, another like Hokkaido...

-if you drown here, no one will help you.

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Challenge
random topics, the return, part III
dear prosers! the randiis are back. if you missed them or not, here they are in all their ingnominy. let those who hate most cast the first stone. just make sure that as you pick what to throw, it shall cause the most injury. alternatively, if you are driven by a different sort of fire. just pick obe, some, all or none of the following prompts and do with them what you feel to be right. 1) protein shakes on the train to the Goulash. 2) the contents of the pockets of Yusef Lateef. 3) truths a doublethinker holds onto. 4) you make a left turn, by the overpass. 5) discussions of new flavors of potato chips by the samovar. 6) the celebrated return of Joe Pecci and his bat. 7) the milestone that pulls you down. 8) the contents of the pockets of Omar Khayyam. 9) things you shouldn't say to monster truck rally organizers. 10) what am i really thinking, when i'm thinking about object permanence. 11) wet clay, and acceptable wrongdoing. 12) leftovers in the age of a discovery. 13) egg hunting on planet Zordvorf 14) demistifying the life cycle of even-toed ungulants . 15) going five more then usual. 16) going too far. ....................... Kuato lives!!
batmaninwuhan
• 15 reads

thoughts on a two track railway

outside, the endless stepp, the goulash ahead, i know what's coming and it involves a spoon and sourdough.

i will not take a protein shake, not before the challenge.

i occupy my mind, on the tracks ahead, they run in paralel, despite the train having many turns.

someday the lines will meet.

Omar khayyam would probably have something to say about it.

"sit around the stew friends,

and let the bird fly, and seeth

and shun the dreaded crusts,

the wine pours, until its ebbs"

but his astronomy knew not of railways,

and he kept a rusty astrolabe in his pocket. and an energy bar.

the lines will meet, someday,

as long thin legs do,

they must,

and the train, will meet then,

the illustrious Joe Pecci,

who will drive the train,

through the focal point.

i hear the wistle blowing,

and think of the milstones we passed,

and the mill stones,

and the rolling stones,

cause that's the problem,

with object permanance,

you keep your eye on the ball,

then you get hit with a bat,

caused you pissed off,

the wrong organizers.

object permanance,

being the only proof ,

that monster truck rallies,

are a big lie.

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Challenge
Is Y a vowel?
Just your thoughts on Y's status as a letter. You either think it's a vowel or a consonant. "Sometimes" is not good enough
batmaninwuhan
• 37 reads

oh, what a think to ask..

look. yes, when you are a hatchling, you are taught the five vowel, AEIOU and no one teaches a sixth one the vowel Y. they also do not teach anything about W, or Ü. or many other vowels that are distinct, yet mostly esoteric in modern english. the problem with spelling of words, stems from the semmely arbitrary nature of how some letters were chosen or dropped, particularly if it was borrowed from other languages.

why is fantasy spelled with a Y and not with an I or an IE or just an E. (in german for example it is fantase) .

y is a vowel that may be more ambiguous today, than it used to be, having a distinct sound. funny enough, it is based on the greek letter upsilon that is definitely a vowel but sounds like a U. which in turn was burrowed from pheonician waw sound (that letter looks like an i with the dot a bigger circle.

now vowel May serve as consonents, and then require another vowel to designate the movement. (yet, year, foyer, etc). but that does not reduce its definition as a vowel.

incidentally, the only western letter to be employed in Chinese writung is the capital Y or 丫ya. this three-brush stroke, charachrer, is a phonic representation. of the sound ya. but when connected to other.characters is normally something to do with ""girl""

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Challenge
millipede millipede, let me in!
not by the hair...
batmaninwuhan
• 21 reads

Truths they need to hear

the universe is getting older.

the relative prevelance of light gasses is slowly turning to a rarity.

someday, most atoms would be heavier, fused products of decayed stars.

the stars would be mostly gone by then,

the fuel that keeps them active mostly gone.

the nebulae that were once nursery to stars, will be drfting clouds of wasted potential, never enough again for a substantial aggregation.

the planet which we call home will be long gone. so shall our star be mostly gone, replaced by the white dwarf, and then the dark dwarf, which will have no more warmth.

background radiation is the ultimate fate of all we call matter. all structures of mass, even the tight-fisted black holes, will slowly lose their contained energy, until they too would be a distant cold memory.

and then, millipede, millipede,

will you finally let me in? I will be too tired to huff and puff, I will blow nothing down.

I will not do a thing,

'cept ask.

in your many-legged carapace,

I shall seek comfort.

or I shall dissipate at last,

in your rejection.

the

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Challenge
help solve one of philosophy's greatest questions: can the constitutional definition of being native born, preclude immigrants from different parallel universes from running for president?
if say, in their very dystopian universe, the united states, is a trans-galactic empire, which they have been proven documentation of being a member, are they elligable to stand for election. how about entities who are created in this universe, but are not 'born'? what are the constitunional rights of Alaska Egg-people?
batmaninwuhan
• 24 reads

the constitutional wave function and its application in particular cases

the subject of constitutional rights is not a clear- cut definition. one, particularly short-sighted individual, would look at the constitution as it is in a specific universe, and attempt to draw from it and no other constitutions an interpertation of rights and privilages, uponwhich the whole codex of law is grounded. but of course, such an attempt would be silly, inconclusive, and superficial. the multiverse is full of contradictions and differences, that make a specific document, meaningless, unless a greater context is known and understood. indeed, the more one looks at a specific code of law, as a representative, the less one knows about the greater body of constitutionalities there exists and vice -versa. this is merely a simple application of the uncertainty principle, to the subject of law.

it is therefore necessary to look at the greater phenomenon of constitutional documents, and analyse them in total, on a statistical level, to gain large-scale insights of constitutional law as a superposition.

when looking at this vast expanse of legal documents, one is iften daunted. it seems that the variety is endless, and the probability of knowing what is the constitutional definition of a specific right is zero. but this is untrue. rules and laws may be different, as they maybe created through very diverging historical processes, but there is more that they have in common than not. if we build a matrix, where we put all possible documents, we will find that they do not fall at all points evenly. indeed there would be issues that a great majority of documents agree upon and then there would be issues that would be of a very low probability to be accepted, let alone discussed in a constitutional documents. this is called the constitutiinal wave function. and the more learned of you may quickly recognize it is a derivation of the greater quantum wave function .

take the issue of elligibility to run for a presidential office. the probability of an individual to be allowed to run for election to become a president is reasonably high. many universes, offer this potential to all sentiant beings, if they have proven their skill at shaking babies, kissing hands, stilt-walking, mastery of backgammon or have displayed desired charachteristics like buoyancy, owning a clean shirt and an eversion to cilantro. these very common criteria seem to stand to reason, and do not put any other precondition to the nominees. other universes emplace stricter caveat to who may be a president; being born to a particular hive-queen, being in natural possession of an odd number of toes, having lived for no less than three years on a different planet, etc. those universes, normally share a rater violent series of recent historical events, that caused the imposition of such seemingly high standards.

but there are issues that are possible and yet have zero constitutions that accept them. it could be that a constitution is enacted, with the caveat that only creaky door hinges may run for public office. it is possible, but there are no universes inwhich this is the specific case. the constitutional wave function is capable of predicting that, and any other of the probability of specific caveat for contending aspirants for the presidancy.

take the issue of eligibility to serve for president , based on the question of being born within the territory of the united states. this issue has come up several times, when contenders were being regarded and vetted it was at times done with nothing but malice and gross injustice by rivals (Barack Obama) or it was a rightly contentious issue as the candidate was not born but cloned from an expired tweenkie (donald trump) .

be the conditions what they may, the constitutional wave function predicts that such a restriction as the birth of an individual within the territory of the country would be relatively low in appearance , as it precludes many who could be better candidates, in skill, intelligence or mastery of stilt-walking.

as the constitutional wave function, predicts with great accuracy the likelihood of particular laws and rules, and the rights of citizens, it is in fact the true , meta-constitutional document. it is the superposition of all constitutions, from all universes, inwhich there is a nation-state, specifically the united states, and inwhich there is an actual constitutional document.

we are therefore capable to interpret it as the greater and more substantial of all particular documents, even though the information we may receive will be probabalistic in nature.

there is a low probabalistic chance (11.87%) that a president is precluded fron holding office solely on the question of their birth within a territorial context.

this is understandable, as that in many universes, the united states is a trans-galactic empire. being as such, there would be a great reduction of the representative nature of the presidancy, if it would be limited to a very limited locality.

the question of candidates who are not born is a less contentious issue. no one will disagree that all have a right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of office. that is what's great about america. it never lets backward considerations to stand against justice . but defining what would constitute being born within the territory would make things very complicated indeed. suppose, that like donald trump a person was hatched within the continental territory, but the egg was layed in another place, say France. suppose a clone of one president was grown in a vat, and then broached out of the membranes in another country. could this clone then come and claim his elligibility to run for president, simply because he is genetically identical to Ronald Reagan ?

suppose a person is symbiotically linked to an alien. would his compromized identity be ineligible to run for office?

what about trees who grew an intelligent compelling candidates, would they be elligable to run, when it is discovered tjat their root system originates in Canadia?

seeing as immigration between universes is becoming more prevelant, in situations where the wave function predicts certain constitutional rules at a low probability of occurring, those particular rules are void. any particular goverment that closes its mind to the unimaginable force of the combined electorate in all itterations of the multiverse is being onerous, erroneous, and closed minded. and shall soon be invaded and integrated into to the greater rule of law.

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Challenge
sound
Write a short story or poem and focus on the sounds
batmaninwuhan
• 30 reads

the bells

ringing ringing,

bell-less tones,

of the caller they intone,

brazen, glassy,

surface glister,

by the 'lectric

they do twistyer,

by the message you will know,

if to smile or sigh or moan,

so they ring on ,

no one's picking?

picking up that awful phone!

raging so, they run the street,

whining urgent, they retreat,

so to send the ve'cles aside,

as they demand as they do chide,

white and yellow, blue, or red,

blinding lights upob you shed,

taking urgency as noise rebounds,

shun their path, upon the ground.

raging sirens diaphragm, bell,

the disaster they do spell.

hear that scratchy vinyl spin

as the play in anlogue en-gin

and the needle, needless stay

when there's scratchless

digitals to play.

oh nostlagia you scratch on,

stumble, hiccup, stagger on

stumble , hiccup, stagger on

stumble, hiccup, staggee on.

oh we jumped back to the groove,

it was such a lucky move,

there's a bell, a horn of tin,

amplify the scratch within.

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