Symbiosis

Small and delicate, there is a boy perched upon my shoulders. He looks familiar, like an image I’ve seen in faded photographs, but the features and details are blurred and confusing. They’ve been lost to the years past.

In reality, he does not wish to be seen or inspected, but he clings to me, constantly whispering. Not with voice, but through black, sinuous veins nestled into my mind. I thought for a long time I needed these impulses, but he simply convinced me of that.

Please, don’t think poorly of him. He’s only a child. Perpetually a child. He’s scared, motivated by doubts. He hides behind me, hands clutched in fear. But his fingers curl around my insides, choking my thoughts and breath.

I’ll console him, if I must.

Convince him even.

But must not concede to him.

I’ll take hold of his fretful hand, because it’s time for him to walk by my side. As much as he’s helped me survive, I want more. This hesitant, sweet boy and I will face it all - happiness, sadness, anger, love, laughter, pain - cause we have to. We’ve seen so much already, yet he’s hidden so much from my memories.

Out of fear.

Out of love.

And I won’t forget that.

My oldest friend, I’ll carry you a bit longer, but one day you’ll have to come down from your perch. Don’t worry though. That won’t be the end - just a new beginning. It may feel lonely, but we can make it together.