What it’s for

I used to hate my ex for years and years.

And then I hated my next ex for a few years.

I hated yet another one for just a little while.

I hated the girl who bullied me in junior high.

I hated the boy I didn't even know who called me ugly.

I hated the boy who picked on me almost every day and threw a text book at me in class.

I hated the teacher that saw the book hit my back and said nothing.

I hated going to school.

I hated every random person who said a hurtful thing.

I hated waking up.

I hated being me.

Many days, I hated being alive.

I then got very tired.

And I started to think in a way that made me less tired. Because I wanted my energy back. I hated being exhausted more than I hated those other things and people.

I forgave my exes.

I forgave the kids at school.

I forgave the teacher.

I forgave me.

Then I accepted that people are just people, and hate usually is born out of not really knowing somebody or not understanding what make people the way they are. Most people are all right. Even the really broken ones. Because they have a reason that they are broken. The very broken ones usually end up in prison away from us anyways.

I then saw that not only was I less tired, but I didn't hurt anymore and nobody could say words to hurt me. Because that pain was a choice.

I then replaced that hate with acceptance, understanding....and avoidance. Because I also learned that I didn't owe anyone anything either. Not even a hello.