hopeless

I’m tired of the quotes and the advice that just stirs up theories and thoughts that hurt worse. I’m so turned off by trying to figure anything out, especially any kind of feeling. I wish to be numb. Dead if need be because when the unexpected plummeting to the depths of darkness again after the short moment of okayness makes none of it worth it. I know because I’ve been down then up and down. And I’m still here. Still here.