Lies.

When I look into the mirror, I do not see myself.

I see my flaws, my imperfections...

I see a ghost of what I once was.

A girl that has been broken down over, and over again until all that is left is her shadow.

The voices of men, the shrieks of the society have reduced her to a mere image.

Flesh ripped away as they called her fat and ugly.

Heart ripped out of her chest as they told her she was unlovable.

Brain devoured by the demons creating havoc in her broken mind and skeleton shattered into ashes as they told her that she was weak, that she was not unbreakable, she was nothing, she was no one, she was unworthy.

What good will a speech do?

Will it bring her back?

Maybe for a moment, a single moment, until she realises that the smile is still fake and her laughter only hides her tears.

Maybe it will make her feel strong again.

Feel better.

And then they will give her a good slap to welcome her back to the cold, harsh reality that is her life.

“You are beautiful.”

What a pretty lie.

“You don’t deserve the pain you have gone through, you were only a child.”

Yes, a stupid child, weak, foolish, blind, naive child.

“You are loved.”

No, I am not.

And if they knew what I truly was, the corruption, the rage, the fear, the insecurities, the hatred, the monster, they would have run a long time ago.

“Please, listen, this is the only way you can heal. It is the only way to be better. Do it for them, for those you love.”

You make me laugh, you liar.

It is funny.

It is the same people that I love that destroy me everyday, the same “family”, the same “friends”.

If I give up and fade away, I am letting them win.

If I rise above it, I let them win still, I allow them to have power over me.

So I stand in the balance, waiting for a Prince Charming I know will never come, hoping for illusions I see only in my dreams that will never exist.

“I love you!”

A pause.

A hesitation.

A glimmer of light in the darkness.

Nothing needs to be said, just a look at the tear stained face and fake smile of the shadow is all I need.

I am not me, not anymore, and she is never coming back.

But... Who knows?

Maybe I will change.

Be happy.

Be me.

Be free.

What a beautiful, broken lie.