I don't apologize. About anything. Yeah, so I do feel guilt like every other normal human being--but I can never bring myself to say a couple of words: "I'm really sorry."

What is it about myself? Is it pride? No, I don't think so. I open my mouth to say sorry, and the words get stuck in my mouth. I try to force them out, but they seem stuck there, a big ball of hot burden. I clench my teeth, and try to do it again the next day. Again, I freeze, and I look at my feet. What the heck is wrong with me? I scold myself. Why can't you just apologize? And so I try to be as friendly as I can, and try to forget about what I ever did. But I have a huge ball of guilt gathering in my stomach, and I don't want any more mistakes to be nesting there, so I guess I'll somehow have to force my voice to work.

And for all if you out there, if you see this: I'm really, really sorry.