to whom it may concern

There are so many thing I need to say. First is thank you. You saved my life. When everything was dark and I couldn’t see a way out, you saved me from myself. For that I will be forever grateful. The second thing is, all those years ago, when I could finally feel things again, I realized I was in love with you. It is said that if you have feelings for someone for more than four months it must be love, it’s been more than seven years. The third thing is that I’m sorry. I’m sorry that your friendship with me has made your home life more difficult. I’m sorry that apparently without even meaning to, your wife finds me threatening. But. I am not sorry for the deep connection we share, or the fact that the universe put us in eachothers path. I just wish it didn’t hurt so much.

I don’t need to know how you feel about me, reciprocal feelings or not, either would tear me apart. I think that I will probably always have an empty place where you should be, and I will always wait for the sound of your call, because I know, on some level, we were meant for eachother.