Reapers troubles.

“Look at her, she’s a natural!” The grim reaper says gesturing to my daughter who had her arms wrapped around a limp rabbit. “For the last time,” I take a deep breath “my TWO-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER is NOT going to take your place. Not yet anyway. Just because she kills everything she touches, besides me of course, does not mean she’s ready.”

The reaper looks at me with an annoyed smile. “It would be better for her to learn how to control it at an early age, rather than keeping her locked up and accidentally KILL HALF THE FRICKING WORLD CAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE HECK SHE'S DOING!” “I never said she wouldn’t be trained or that she'd be locked up. I’m just saying she’s not leaving to go around the world killing people with you.” “Then how do you suppose she is trained.”

*flashback ends*

“And that’s how I got the grim reaper to be my baby sitter.” Somewhere in the background I hear a frustrated screech “HOW THE HELL DID I GET STUCK CHANGING FUCKING DIPPERS!!”

“Language death man, she needs to kill not cuss.” “ILL SHOW YOU DEATH YOU EVIL SHE DEVIL, THIS IS YOUR DOING!” I let out a wicked laugh. “Hey your the one that chose her, it’s not my fault she’s a ‘natural’ and got her powers early.”

My friend who I was telling the story to had fallen off her chair, wheezing and hunched over slapping the ground. As soon as she got over her fit of laughter she looked at me wiping a tear from her eye. “Anyway now that I’ve heard that lovely story. Has he actually made any progress with your daughter on the, you know, death thing?” “Well” I begin, but we hear a thump on the ground behind us before I answer. “Aww there goes bob 2.8, man he was my favorite so far.” I sigh as I watch my daughter crawl past a now dead pig. The reaper appears behind her tears in his eyes “I’m trying! I’m sorry! I don’t know how kids work! I haven’t been one for over two thousand years, GOD JUST LET ME FAIL IN PEACE!” Tears start streaming down his face as he picks up my now laughing daughter and trudges back into the house. “Ya, it’s not going so well.”