The Beauty of Rejection
This week's guest blogger, Jennifer Probst, writes sexy, erotic contemporary romance.
She is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of The Marriage to a Billionaire Series and The Searching For Series including Searching for Someday and Searching for Perfect, among others.
Below is an article she wrote exclusively for the Prose community entitled, "The Beauty of Rejection."
I've been writing since I was eight years old. Completed my first young adult romance novel at 12. Wrote three more back to back (as my cousin once pointed out--no, I didn't date much!) and continued regularly after I graduated with a very proper business degree from college.
I wrote early mornings, weekends, and late at night. I wrote on lunch hours and plotted in the car. I wrote poetry, short stories, essays, reports, blog posts, novellas and full length novels. I dreamed of eventually becoming a full-time writer, but realized it would be a long journey to achieve such success.
Let's just say I've now been writing for over 30 years.
Three years ago, I had a break-out book that propelled me to the New York Times list and sold over a million copies. I was termed an "overnight" success. I've never laughed so hard at a term in my life. Because only I knew, along with close family and friends, how long my overnight success took to get noticed. Amidst my journey, I faced rejections. Oh, so many rejections!
When I was fourteen years old, I received my first official rejection letter from my submission of my young adult romance. Maybe even back then, I realized I'd reached a fork in the road and could choose between two paths. I could collapse into my own self doubts and pity, following that taunting voice that told me to quit because I'd never make it. Let's be honest - being a writer is hard. One that gets paid and makes a living even harder.
But I chose the other path. I posted the rejection letter on my wall so I was able to look at it every day while I wrote. Because it meant I was a real writer. I had completed a book. I had the guts to send it out. Yes, I was rejected, but I would try again. It was a challenge for me.
Some rejections along the way were harder than others. Some put me into bed for forty eight hours, wondering if I had the strength to continue writing. After such hard work, for so long, I'd still earned little money, spent every spare minute of my time penning words, and had no idea if I'd make it as a full-time writer.
One day, I returned home from work after an hour and a half commute at my day job. I had two young boys in diapers and I was exhausted. There, lying on the table, were two envelopes. I had created a short, humorous story on parenthood for two mainstream magazines and felt it was some of my best work. I felt in my soul I'd get my break. Finally! With trembling fingers, I ripped open the envelopes and found two form rejection letters.
So, I went to bed. Quit for a while. Let myself throw a pity party. It was good for me, because you also need to get in touch with those feelings first, so you are able to kick them to the literal curb when you're ready to get back to work.
It took me five full days to walk back into my makeshift office, with piles of laundry behind me, and kids toys, and my crickety chair that faced a wall with peeling paint.
But I got back to work.
Every time we write a story we get better. Every time we read a craft book, or attend a writer's conference, or dive into a new project, we grow. Writers write to make sense of the world around us, and scream We Were Here. It is our tiny slice of immortality. It is something we must do, again and again, so rejection is just part of the game. I made peace with myself years ago when I realized in my light bulb moment, I'd write forever - with or without publication.
Rejections are part of life, but being a writer means you have to reach deeper than most people. We are the creatives, but cannot break in a strong wind. We must bend as graceful and fluid as a willow - a flexible reed that will eventually end up straightening out again after the storm.
Use rejection as an indicator of growth. Of power. We will rarely regret the stories we penned, or the chances we took. We will only regret the words not written and the submissions we were too scared to send.
- Jennifer Probst
You can follow Jennifer on Twitter @jenniferprobst and be sure to visit her website by copying and pasting the following link into your web browser:
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