Grandpa Al was one of the men in my life that I will never forget. He is the man that I will always think about and my memories of him I cherish . I hope to one day share this with my son who never got to know his great grandfather.

Al Chinn was a man that seemed to know it all. He could put a smile on your face when you needed it, fix your car on the side of the road, your microwave or refrierator, and he could also warm you up and make your soul melt with his homemade cusines, particularly his Asian dishes.

As a young child, I just really appreciated the way that he cooked meals for me, and tickled me. He always knew how to make me have a better day. Later on in life, in my teenage years especially, he would share his grandfatherly wisdom, but I never saw him as my grandpa, but a famous man around Wilmington and a second dad to me. When he hurt I hurt. When he died everyone in Wilmington almost, came to his visitation and his funeral.

It's bad to worship someone , except God, but things were just different when he was around. Nothing seemed as trivial and his presence numbed all the bad things that everyone felt. As his health declined though, everyone felt the weight of his demise and we began the grieving process.

When I was younger I never wanted to think about death or dying, but it's a part of life. I guess I thought my grandpa was invinsible, and then I learned the sad truth. One day I took him for granted. I had my own young adult life that included some things I wasn't proud of, but seeing him was not on the top of the list. I remember when my parents sat me down at On the Border restaurant and told me that my grandpa only had a short time to live. They didn't tell me how long. I continued on with life and then one day when my mom showed up at my job crying, I knew then that something was wrong. I knew that I was gonig to have to hold her and one of us was going to have to drive. She knew how visibly upset I was and so she went ahead and drove us to the hospital. As we were surrounded by our family and friends, I never realized how much the weight of death had until I went into his room and looked at his face , pale as ghost or a white sheet, his lips were blue, and he was cold. He looked so peaceful in his sleep as he went on to be with the Lord. For that I was grateful that he had accepted him as his Lord and Savior. It hadn't been that long ago.

I remember when we had his visitation and I went up to the casket becuase we had an open casket and saw him there. I told him that I loved him even though I knew he couldn't hear me. I walked away. That night I cried and cried away from my grandma and especially my dad. I didn't want him to see how hurt I really was . I knew that it had to be ten times the hurt for him since it was his father. I know myself, as close as I have come a few times to losing my own father , that I would be devastated if my dad passed away, even though him and I had a strained relationship a few times in my life.

At his funeral was the worst. My grandpa loved to hear me play flute and so he would record me playing my flute for hours. He wouldn't leave. He sat there and listened tom e play and he cried with joy every time I played something that struck him. Well, I promised that when he died that I would play at his funeral. I didn't realize how many people were there. I dont' know if I was just nervous, grieving, or both, but I had a hard time getting through the song that I chose to play for him . " It is well with my soul. " Even now when I hear it or "Wind Beneath my Wings" or The " Rose" by Bette Midler, I tear up.

I miss the days when I used to galivant with my grandpa and grandma, and I didn't push my limits with rebellion. I miss the carefree days. The eggrolls, the laughs, the tears, and not ever wanting to go home. My mom was actually jealous, becuase I wanted to stay at their house more than her house and I ate there more.

While I could be down about my grandpa dying, my grandma is doing well and has and I had closure a few months after he died when he appeared in a dream. Also, my dad is the closest thing to my grandpa that anyone ever will be and it's comforting to know that I can sense my grandpa when I am with my dad, or when I cook Asian food, or even just in small things. My grandpa is my guardian angel and I know that myself, as well as my family, miss him terribly, but we will have our memories nad cherish those, as bad as it hurt to lose him physically on this earth.