Pets

Those of you who have a pet,

Will know just what I mean.

Just how annoying they can get,

Beats all that I have seen.

A dog will eat shit off the floor,

Or from the litter box.

Eat till they can eat no more,

Then puke right on your socks.

A cat won't touch a single bite,

Unless it's served in glass.

The texture has to be just right,

Or all you'll see is ass.

When it starts to pour the rain,

A dog needs to go out.

You hear the growl of a shit pain,

And know what that's about.

If a cat gets their feet wet,

They act as though they'll die.

Oh the “fuck you" looks you get,

While you wipe them dry.

A dog greets each and every guest,

Their crotch gets thoroughly sniffed.

I've even seen them do their best,

To give someone a lift.

A cat will peek around the wall,

Just to see who’s there.

Then they hack a nasty ball,

Of mucous full of hair.

When it’s time to go to bed

One thing they both do.

Is make a circle three full times,

Then flop right down on you.